Hey Hey where's the Monkeys?

Never in my wildest dreams, would I have thought I would be shopping for a crib, a year after Jacob was born. I know what you’re thinking. No, I haven’t had him sleeping in a drawer all this time. He actually has a very nice Jardine Cherry crib in his room, which took us hours to assemble. Then why shopping for a new crib you ask? Well he certainly didn’t chew his way through the wooden slats, although he has tried. No it seems the security commission has issued a recall due to many recent injuries, which could lead to death. The wooden slats are supposedly able to come loose, trapping the children. I myself have tried to budge them and feel they are very sturdy. Unless you have an incredible hulk baby, I don’t see them moving. Regardless of my opinion after my efforts to destroy it, I will abide to the recall. Never mind how reluctant I feel, considering it took me weeks to motivate Jason into putting the first one together. What gets me is this...

This is the pouch that came attached to the original packaging, of the one we have now. If you look very closely on the bottom it clearly reads in all capitol letters; THIS CRIB CONFORMS TO APPLICABLE REGULATIONS PROMULGATED BY THE CONSUMER PRODUCTS SAFETY COMMISSION.

Now I ask you who gave out the recall? Say it with me… The Consumer Product safety commission!

Are you keeping up with me?

Now who is listed for the inspection of applicable regulations? Let's repeat...The Product Safety Commission! Very good, now do you see where I’m going with this?

How in the world did it ever pass inspection, or meet the standards to obtain this important statement.

Did the safety commission not feel the sturdiness of the slats, an important part of the check list or regulations?

Our country does all kinds of animal testing these days. Monkeys have been sent to space, they use them for testing all kinds of diseases and medicine. Heck all you hear about is how smart they are and claim they have all this human intelligence, and are the closest animal to our race. Yet, you’re telling me they can’t even put a freakin monkey in a baby crib, and see how durable it is. Where is the logic there?
I’m sure if they would use the studies of a 75lb raging ape in it, they could be certain it would hold up to a little shaking from a toddler.

So now, because of all their monkeying around over there at the Product security commission, I have to get a new crib. That is wait for a voucher to come in the mail, and hope it's enough to purchase one similar to the one we have.

If I'm lucky...

1. Nothing they have will match our set.

2. I'll have to pay more money to get one that does match.

3.The new crib will sit in a box waiting to be assembled, like the old one.

4.By the time everything is bought and set up Jacob will be ready for a toddler bed!

I guess at least I was lucky, I saw the one time, 3 minute, recall announcement about it on TV.

Partying with the strangers I know

For a long time, if the girls met someone new, they referred to them by their appearances. Everything would be you know My friend...

The girl with the pink shirt and brown hair... (never mind that was the first day they ever saw her!)
The short boy with blond hair in fourth grade...
My friend with long red hair who rides the bus...

It drove me crazy! They never asked names, and could not understand why I would get so bent out of shape. They didn't need to know names! Yet, they would get upset, when I didn't know who they were talking about. I tried many times explaining "Sweetheart, if the girl in the pink shirt changes then how will you know her? She'll no longer be girl in the pink shirt! Next time ask her name!" Still they did not ask names and I could not grasp their comprehension . That was until I walked a day in their shoes. This week I have been planning a surprise party for Kailey's birthday. I sent out invitations to all the kids from her class at school. Now that I am having to interact a little more with some of the moms, I've realized I don't know their names! Before I never thought anything about it, and now that I have to call or talk to them I am tongue tied. Instead of the usual passing by at school of meaningless chit chat, it's a little more intimate. All this time I was unconsciously doing the same thing my girls were. Everything was Oh, So and So's mom. Now how do I address them? Oh Hi, Caleb's mom! How dweebish does that sound? Which has now left me with the fears of following scenarios at the party...

For one, a lot of children these days don't have the same last name as their parents, so there's the fear of saying Mrs.-----, when it's the wrong last name. Now that would be bad! I can just hear it now, "Um... her dad and I were never married", which will lead to a very awkward conversation, we both clearly don't want to get into.

Oh Hi, lady with the four kids and red mini van, how are you?

Yes, snotty woman, with the fake hair and tight jeans, who I've talked to all year. I'm so glad little Johnny could come!

Thank you, Gracie's grandma with the coke bottle glasses, I know Kailey will use this!

Excuse me, woman with red curly hair would you like a piece of cake?

I can forget being able to just ask the girls who they are. I made that mistake one too many times.

Me; "Girls what's her name?"
The Girls; "who?"
Me; " That woman right there, that works in the cafeteria."
The Girls; "Oh that's Mrs. Debbie!"
Me; "Mrs. Debbie!! Excuse me..Mrs. Debbie...(getting closer) Mrs.Debbie?"
Lunch lady; (No answer, not even an acknowledgment)
*Looking at me*
Me; Mrs. Debbie? (why isn't she answering me? Hell-o Yes, talking to you! My wave is an indication.)
Lunch lady; *walks right on by, giving me weird looks, and obviously looking around for Mrs. Debbie*

That's because she WASN'T Mrs. Debbie!!!
Boy did I feel like a fool!

Another...

Me; "Kailey is that your substitute? I need to talk to her what's her name?"
Kailey; "Oh that's Gram-gram!"
Me; "Gram? Like Mrs. Gram? Gram Gram?"
Kailey; "Yes!"
Me; "Excuse me Mrs. Gram?"
Turned out it was some little girls grandma at the school, in which calls her Gram-gram!

Another...

Me; "So, who was she?"
The girls; "Oh she's Miss Sheila's sister!"
Me; "Really? I didn't know they were sisters."
The girls; "Duh mom, they have the same hair color!"


So, you see why I refuse to go that route?

I'm guessing this will be a very interesting party full of new introductions to old acquaintances! That or I'll be out right faking it!!

And the Public school system said Kailey was the problem!