There's no book or experience that can prepare you for this

As I was checking out at the local grocery, the stench of Jacob's diaper became overwhelming as I carried him. Which I thought was just perfect timing, seeing how I'm trying to write a check and hold him. He's reaching and grabbing for anything and everything, especially the credit card machine and my check. I'm trying to keep Madisen out of the candy rack, and Kailey close so I can see her. Since I had a cart full of bagged groceries, I decided to just change him in the car. I loaded the girls and the groceries and grabbed a diaper and bag of wipes. The space where Kailey usually sits is where I laid Jake down to change him right quick, so I thought. With my door open I stood leaned into the car and began to undress him. I had handed kailey (my heaven sent help) the dry diaper and she was standing over him ready. As I pulled down his pants I could see poop smeared down his leg. At this point it's already too late in the game to stop changing him and move to a much bigger area, that I so desperately needed. His hands automatically reached down to help. Panicking I'm rushing Kailey to hurry with the wipes and help grab his arms. After getting his hands clean and out of the way with Kailey holding them, I continued to get the wipes myself and open his diaper. I assume he pooped while he was sitting in cart, because instead of it being all on his butt it was all pushed up and out the front of his diaper. It couldn't have been just a little formed poop either, No it was a slam full, creamy, sticky diaper. Jake's at the age now where he hates to be changed. He squirms and fights the whole time to get up. This was the last thing I needed at that moment. It wasn't like I could just hog tie his legs together with one hand, because I needed to clean between them. So, he's kicking, poopy wipes are falling out of the car, and I'm trying to get him clean while people are walking by. At this point I could careless about what kind of a mother these people thought I was, or for the guy waiting on my parking space. I went through an entire sandwich bag full of wipes, which was good looking on the bright side of it all. At least I had something to put all that mess in when I was finished. The whole frustrating process took 20 minutes, but in the end Jake was happy seeing how he was able to ride home in only his diaper.

The Banana Mystery

Just the other day I was running late, as usual trying to get out the door. I know why do I need to be all dolled up at 7 am just to drop off the kids? I’m not even going in, but God for bid I get in a car wreck and someone see me. What can I say I have issues. Well, this morning I had a good excuse I was trying to get everyone ready and do housework, because I wasn’t coming back home. I was going to spend the day taking care of my dad, to relieve my mom. I had plenty I could do there, but I thought I would take everything to make banana bread and pudding. I had two big bundles of banana’s ruining and this would be a good way not to waste them. That morning, I told Kailey to put them in a bag for me and set them with everything I had packed. Running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I thought that’s the least she could do. My biggest mistake was I did not make eye contact with her, while she was sucked into the show ‘Pet star’. I should have known my simple clear directions could not breakthrough her comatose state without broken reception. When I arrived at my moms with bags of stuff for the day, I couldn’t find the bananas. So frustrated and too far from home, I just stood sighing in disgust. That evening brain fried tired, and the fact I had no sticky note to remind me, I forgot all about not having them. The next evening once I remember my loss and I began looking for them again. They still were no where to be found. Come to find out Kailey had stuffed them in a bag, and threw them away. By that time they were way beyond recovery and she just stood wondering what the problem was. After I explained why I’m not going to just dig them out of the garbage, she proceeded telling me she didn’t like banana bread anyways. (Oh!, Well silly me what was I thinking? Getting my panies in a bunch all for nothing.) ..You see this is excactly why I try to do everything myself, and go crazy in the meantime.