Friday, February 27, 2009

Can you guess, Did she check Yes or No?

No, she's not going to be a little boy crazy after this!

Only for "the prettiest girl in the class, the school, the WORLD."Laying it on a little thick isn't he? He's already setting the bar high for others to follow.

She's growing up so fast! Why just this morning she announced... "Mom I cover the whole toilet when I sit down now!"

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

She shares more than just her opinion

"Does Madisen have a bed? Because, she told me she sleeps in a drawer!"

Friday, February 20, 2009

Aw...PAPER, me love paper!

Let me ask you, what does this look like to you?

If you guessed register vent, your right.

Now, let me rephrase the question.

What does this look like, if you were, Oh let's just say 1 and a half?

Did you say, the paper monster?

Yes, my darling son finds it fun to feed the ventilation system any kind of paper.

(Anyone up for a dust ball fight? I'd say it's time to buy a new filter, what do you think?!)

This is Jake's third attempt to burn down the house.

Usually, I catch everything in the vent before it makes it's way through the system.

Can you believe this little sneak?

We have yet to catch him in the act. But, the evidence speaks for it's self.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The car line isn't so bad after all

A few months after school started, I relinquished all the girls rights, to riding the bus home.
Let me explain, in case you can benefit from my ignorance.

This was a new school to us with a bus stop, pretty much right at our driveway. Being such a convenience I was willing to over look some of the bad baggage, that came along with it.

The Language~ My girls learned all kinds of new words. They learned real fast what exactly a bad word was, and shut-up was no longer one of them. Which looking back, prepared us for the day Madisen's friend a 1st grader called and wouldn't stop saying the F-word. (the first and last time she called!)

The gestures~ The middle finger was no longer viewed as just a finger. I was absolutely thrilled the day Madisen (2nd grade) came home, making a butt hole and finger action with her hands. She was mortified and I was shocked when Kailey (4th grade) was able to explain what it was.

The teasing~ One of which was when a boy was the ring leader in teasing Kailey, because she doesn't shave her legs. Were talking a K-5 elementary school bus, like any of the girls shave their legs! That led to Jason and I reluctantly teaching her ways to tease back. ("Is that your face or did your neck throw up?"...) I know were bad parents! It was either that or I was going to ring the little twerps neck myself. I will say this, bad tactics or not it worked. She didn't get off crying again!

It's the public school system, we expected it to be a little bad. We were saving money with gas at $4.00 a gallon and they can't always be sheltered. They'll be exposed to it eventually. The main thing was just to teach them right. I knew from growing up riding the bus myself, it would be bad. My thought was, it's only Elementary, how bad could it really be?

The straw that broke the camels back...
The day Madisen came home to fill me in, about a 5th grader that tried to pay her to play in his pants! Thank god, she had enough sense to say 'No', AND tell me about it! I can't tell you how shocked and furious I was. That was the last time they have and will ever ride the bus. I contacted the principle right away and gave my piece of mind.(as if he could do anything to stop it) Can you believe it? A fifth grader!! I am sure his home life has some part in his actions. I still would have killed him, if she listened to him. I can't and don't want to imagine what would have been next?

I am so glad our girls are raised in a home where they are taught right from wrong. It makes me feel good for them to come home and question the actions of their friends. Instead of joining in, they do what they know is right. I'm sure it's just their age, but I hope they always keep the communication open. *huffing* I know, who am I kidding? I'm just days away from turning uncool. You know it's only a matter of time, before they are cussing me behind close doors and sneaking out with mini skirts in their backpacks! I guess my only hope is that they never out grow the urge to tattle. Surely one out of three will eventually crack and keep me informed.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

While he's out smoking...

Thought I'd drop everyone a note. Please bare with my recent absence. My husband has been home and hogging the computer for Days!!
Thanks for understanding. *crap* (He's back!) Gotta go...:(

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I believe there's going to be day, when Jacob is forced to seek therapy.

Future Therapy session;
"I have this strange uncontrollable fear come over me, every time a phone rings..."

Do you think a simple phone call, could scare a child for life?

Put yourself in his shoes...

Your 3ft tall.
The phone suddenly makes a loud siren like noise. Everyone within hearing distance (which is anyone with ears, because our house is so small) is startled. They drop everything they are doing & RUN!! Your in a panic because everyone is running. Your scared, confused, sometimes pushed or trampled on. You have memories of the last time this happened, when everyone ran and left you in a room all alone. You try to run as fast as you can to keep up. Although with everyone going different directions, looking for the handset, you don't know who to follow.
All you can do is cry "It's okay and Uppie", and hope someone comes by and grabs you.

Sad isn't it? For all he knows the phone is the Boogie man.

Monday, February 9, 2009

The solution to staying in shape

Do you Yoga?

I went to a few classes once. Okay, it wasn't a few it was two. The first time, I went to the class it seemed quiet and relaxing. I say quiet, all but the occasional little toot here and there. It was really slow, easy and best of all, peaceful. After it was all over with I was actually considering going back. That was until the instructor informed my friend and I, that we had attended a therapy yoga class for people with injuries. Which was mainly a bunch of old people that had hip replacements. I guess thats what we get for arriving late and not reading the entire gym schedule. (I say 'we', it was more like 'She'! )

My second class of real yoga, I decided to drag my sister to. In a room of about 30 experienced die hard 'Yogans', here we were thrown in the mist. Without knowing the moves when they were called out, it was difficult to keep up. Constantly trying to figure out what foot and arm goes where was a nightmare. They seemed to fly through the moves. By time I copied what the person nearby was doing that darn instructor would call out "down ward dog" blah blah blah "down ward dog". Here everyone is following in sync and I'm about three moves behind just trying not to fall over. I was at least figuring out the moves, my sister on the other hand just was not coordinated for any of it. Every time I looked over she was falling. Which in return gave me the giggles. It was all I could do to keep it in. Letting out a loud snicker here and there. By the time it was over I was beyond ready to leave, and the instructor looked as though she could kill me. All that meditation crap is just too serious for me, and besides that, it was a lot harder than I expected!

So call me a quitter but I haven't been back. I have since found the ultimate solution to staying in shape here at home.

If you...
Have kids?

Don't have the time nor the money Jennifer Aniston does to go to the gym?
Want to have fun while getting in shape?

The ultimate solution has been available to mother's since the 1960's. Yet somehow it's flew under the radar all these years. You can buy it in the toy department for less than $20. I don't see how they have missed making a workout infomercial for it. (One easy payment of $19.99, get the abs you've always wanted...)


Yoga that permits you to laugh and have lots of fun all at the same time.

Play twister for an hour with the kids, and I promise you will feel just like you attended yoga.

You will feel the burn with every slow spin, till the next pose.

Twister V/s Yoga

stretch you
work your muscles
keep you breathing (yelling to hurry up and spin is considered breathing, right?)
are done barefoot
use a mat
take concentration
can be done in your home

must be done in quiet
no talking
no laughing
if in a gym, no children
can be done alone
classes cost money

noise doesn't matter
lots of fun and laughter
involves your children and gets them active
your spending quality time with your kids
best of all Free!!

Really it's a no brainer , Twister is the way to go!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Super Black Eye XL

The day after the Big Super Bowl, and I have a black eye!
I'll let you guess why, and I'll be back later to explain.
A. I couldn't keep my mouth shut during the Super Bowl...
B. He had to tell me more than once...
C. I took a bowl to the face...
D. All the above!

(After hours of cleaning, errands, and business taxes later...)

For all those hanging on to your computer seat in suspense, I will no longer keep you waiting.

No, I wasn't in a martial dispute during the Super bowl, if you were wondering. In fact I didn't watch the Super Bowl and neither did my husband. Not that I wouldn't let him either! He just doesn't get the whole hoopla over a bunch of men he doesn't know, playing football. I did tune in for all of two commercials and five minutes of Bruce during half-time, which was all I could stand. I guess I was just expecting something a little more exciting, like the whole Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction.

As for the biggest wife beater day of the year, I was Not a victim. For any ladies out there that might have been. I by all means am not making fun of your situation. Domestic violence is not a laughing matter. Although I do think it is uncalled for, and easily prevented. If you are putting yourself in that situation then you might as well expect what you get. I get really bent out of shape about those with children involved. It is your duty as a mom to protect your child. You leave with them and don't look back. I don't even want to hear the whole "But I love him BS either"!

Girls, Single/Married women listen up, cause I'm talking to you!

Have a little self respect for yourself. Get a man who will treat you like a queen and settle for nothing less. Yes, marriage is a give an take relationship. Therefore you respect him just as well. What I am saying is you don't EVER let a man lay a hand on you. The first and one time he does, should be his last. There are no second chances!

Okay, now that I'm done with my Parenting/girl-friend lesson for the day...

On to my black eye...

If you guessed C, you were correct!
I did take a bowl to the Eye. (Not a bowl of chips for the Super bowl, if that's what you thought!)
No, Jacob was playing with a small stainless steel bowl and a ball. He was tossing the ball up and catching it in the bowl, as I sat near watching him. One miss of the ball, and Mr. attitude chucked the bowl as hard as he could, smacking me in the face.

All I can guess is that someday, he will give Jason and I plenty of reason to take interest in the Super Bowl. I just know in the future he will be a famous quarter back.Trust me I have an Eye, from his talent.