Saturday, June 28, 2008

Hey Hey where's the Monkeys?

Never in my wildest dreams, would I have thought I would be shopping for a crib, a year after Jacob was born. I know what you’re thinking. No, I haven’t had him sleeping in a drawer all this time. He actually has a very nice Jardine Cherry crib in his room, which took us hours to assemble. Then why shopping for a new crib you ask? Well he certainly didn’t chew his way through the wooden slats, although he has tried. No it seems the security commission has issued a recall due to many recent injuries, which could lead to death. The wooden slats are supposedly able to come loose, trapping the children. I myself have tried to budge them and feel they are very sturdy. Unless you have an incredible hulk baby, I don’t see them moving. Regardless of my opinion after my efforts to destroy it, I will abide to the recall. Never mind how reluctant I feel, considering it took me weeks to motivate Jason into putting the first one together. What gets me is this...

This is the pouch that came attached to the original packaging, of the one we have now. If you look very closely on the bottom it clearly reads in all capitol letters; THIS CRIB CONFORMS TO APPLICABLE REGULATIONS PROMULGATED BY THE CONSUMER PRODUCTS SAFETY COMMISSION.

Now I ask you who gave out the recall? Say it with me… The Consumer Product safety commission!

Are you keeping up with me?

Now who is listed for the inspection of applicable regulations? Let's repeat...The Product Safety Commission! Very good, now do you see where I’m going with this?

How in the world did it ever pass inspection, or meet the standards to obtain this important statement.

Did the safety commission not feel the sturdiness of the slats, an important part of the check list or regulations?

Our country does all kinds of animal testing these days. Monkeys have been sent to space, they use them for testing all kinds of diseases and medicine. Heck all you hear about is how smart they are and claim they have all this human intelligence, and are the closest animal to our race. Yet, you’re telling me they can’t even put a freakin monkey in a baby crib, and see how durable it is. Where is the logic there?
I’m sure if they would use the studies of a 75lb raging ape in it, they could be certain it would hold up to a little shaking from a toddler.

So now, because of all their monkeying around over there at the Product security commission, I have to get a new crib. That is wait for a voucher to come in the mail, and hope it's enough to purchase one similar to the one we have.

If I'm lucky...

1. Nothing they have will match our set.

2. I'll have to pay more money to get one that does match.

3.The new crib will sit in a box waiting to be assembled, like the old one.

4.By the time everything is bought and set up Jacob will be ready for a toddler bed!

I guess at least I was lucky, I saw the one time, 3 minute, recall announcement about it on TV.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Partying with the strangers I know

For a long time, if the girls met someone new, they referred to them by their appearances. Everything would be you know My friend...

The girl with the pink shirt and brown hair... (never mind that was the first day they ever saw her!)
The short boy with blond hair in fourth grade...
My friend with long red hair who rides the bus...

It drove me crazy!
They never asked names, and could not understand why I would get so bent out of shape. They didn't need to know names! Yet, they would get upset, when I didn't know who they were talking about. I tried many times explaining "Sweetheart, if the girl in the pink shirt changes then how will you know her? She'll no longer be girl in the pink shirt! Next time ask her name!" Still they did not ask names and I could not grasp their comprehension . That was until I walked a day in their shoes. This week I have been planning a surprise party for Kailey's birthday. I sent out invitations to all the kids from her class at school. Now that I am having to interact a little more with some of the moms, I've realized I don't know their names! Before I never thought anything about it, and now that I have to call or talk to them I am tongue tied. Instead of the usual passing by at school of meaningless chit chat, it's a little more intimate. All this time I was unconsciously doing the same thing my girls were. Everything was Oh, So and So's mom. Now how do I address them? Oh Hi, Caleb's mom! How dweebish does that sound? Which has now left me with the fears of following scenarios at the party...

For one, a lot of children these days don't have the same last name as their parents, so there's the fear of saying Mrs.-----, when it's the wrong last name. Now that would be bad! I can just hear it now, "Um... her dad and I were never married", which will lead to a very awkward conversation, we both clearly don't want to get into.

Oh Hi, lady with the four kids and red mini van, how are you?

Yes, snotty woman, with the fake hair and tight jeans, who I've talked to all year. I'm so glad little Johnny could come!

Thank you, Gracie's grandma with the coke bottle glasses, I know Kailey will use this!

Excuse me, woman with red curly hair would you like a piece of cake?

I can forget being able to just ask the girls who they are. I made that mistake one too many times.

Me; "Girls what's her name?"
The Girls; "who?"
Me; " That woman right there, that works in the cafeteria."
The Girls; "Oh that's Mrs. Debbie!"
Me; "Mrs. Debbie!! Excuse me..Mrs. Debbie...(getting closer) Mrs.Debbie?"
Lunch lady; (No answer, not even an acknowledgment)
*Looking at me*
Me; Mrs. Debbie? (why isn't she answering me? Hell-o Yes, talking to you! My wave is an indication.)
Lunch lady; *walks right on by, giving me weird looks, and obviously looking around for Mrs. Debbie*

That's because she WASN'T Mrs. Debbie!!!
Boy did I feel like a fool!


Me; "Kailey is that your substitute? I need to talk to her what's her name?"
Kailey; "Oh that's Gram-gram!"
Me; "Gram? Like Mrs. Gram? Gram Gram?"
Kailey; "Yes!"
Me; "Excuse me Mrs. Gram?"
Turned out it was some little girls grandma at the school, in which calls her Gram-gram!


Me; "So, who was she?"
The girls; "Oh she's Miss Sheila's sister!"
Me; "Really? I didn't know they were sisters."
The girls; "Duh mom, they have the same hair color!"

So, you see why I refuse to go that route?

I'm guessing this will be a very interesting party full of new introductions to old acquaintances! That or I'll be out right faking it!!

Monday, June 23, 2008

The love letter

In our little town we live in, phone service providers are very limited. In fact for the longest we only had one option which was the Bellsouth phone co.. It was like being shackled to them, with their uncompetitive rates , and once given another choice it was a breath of fresh air. Without a second thought we immediately signed on to a lower bill, with many extras. (including free long distance!) Once we made the switch over, there was no regret and absolutely no want to ever go back. No matter how many times they called begging everyday at 9pm, the answer was indefinably the same. So, long forgotten we went on about our lives, knowing they could never again invade our happy little home with their excessive billing.
First off let me say I am madly in love with my husband of 12 years. Never in my mind have I ever thought he could actually cheat or leave me. Although I love to tease him about it all the time.
(*wink-wink* right sweetie? He hates it!) Besides, I know he would never want to be the victim of a Lorena Bobbit copy cat.
Being a woman I can get a tad bit jealous at just the thought. (alright, alright Jason, I'm telling them..) I mean I can get Extremely jealous at times. Take for instance just the comments here. There's been moments I'd like to tear through the computer and rip out some hair. With that being said, let me tell you what happened.
Going through the mail I came across a letter addressed to Jason (clearly written by a woman!) with no return address. Trust or no trust that warranted me to rip it open in mad woman speed!
Inside was a hallmark looking love card which read;
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I really miss us being together,
How about you?... I'm sure you can imagine the smoke which was coming out of my head, at the wheels turning by this moment. Furious, heart pounding, I continued on through this poem of missing you, until I got to the very bottom where it was signed Bellsouth! So, not only do they try to rape you on charges, but they are potential home wreckers too!
The funny part was after I got over my initial shock, I used it that evening to aggravate Jason. Needless to say he was about as amused as I was. I can say it's made me a little less quick to jump to conclusions. Thank you Bellsouth for your valuable lesson.

Remember tomorrow's Tuesday, if you'd like to participate in Summer Tips,Tricks & Advice Tuesday, please email me your links to; jregish@charter.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

The Experiment

Good morning!
The Experiment
For best results follow all directions first thing in the morning.
Just yourself and some coffee


1. Get down in the floor and do push-ups until your arms are burning (1-100+)Depending on your physical endurance.
( At this point your arms should feel like spaghetti noodles and it should hurt to pick anything up.If not go back and repeat step 1)
2.Spin around the room like a five year old, until you can no longer focus and you have that stumbling drunk walk. Then grab your coffee and come back...
3. You should now have coffee spilled all over you and the floor, and be repeatedly blinking trying to focus to read this.
Now, close your eyes and imagine you have been up all night with a cranky baby, who refused to sleep more than a consecutive hour.

Results: This is how I feel this morning!

Now, I will leave with your agenda for the day. Have a nice day!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I should have just stayed in bed!


8:30 am *FLu - sh* "MOMMY!!, somethings wrong with the toilet!" What the...? We have No water! (That was until 3:00 pm!) Hmmm....I didn't seem to get that MEMO from the town! By God you owe them a dime and they'll hand deliver a bill by that afternoon, and yet can't even give a little warning about a water outage! Nothing like a little warning people!

9:00 am (What I was thinking) That's weird, No email? Yesterday evening there was no mail and none this morning. Just that same old unopened spam letter on top! Is my email connection out too? Usually, it's flooded with mail. 10:00 am Ah- dur I felt stupid when I realized I wasn't looking at my Inbox , it was the Deleted Folder! Someone , I'm not naming names! (JASON!!) While looking through the trash folder (Why, I don't know?) left the mailbox on deleted items, And had also turned off the sound!

5:30pm Just before sitting down to eat...

Jason: "Did you go up to the garden today?"
Me: "Yeah that's where I got the lettuce for tonight."
Jason: *Laughing hysterically*
Me: "What's so funny?"
Jason: "Tell me you didn't pick the lettuce?" *laughing*
Me:"Yes, I picked the lettuce, it's right here , Why?! What's the matter with you?"
Jason: *laughing* "How much did you pick?"
Me:"All of it , WHY?!"
Jason:* shaking his head * "Oh Sweetheart! You ruined the lettuce, it wasn't ready!"
Me:"Shut-up!...What do you mean, I ruined it? Look leaf lettuce, SEE!"
:"We bought Ice- burg Head lettuce, it comes up in heads." *laughing*
Me: "What? Are you kidding me?"
Jason: "Now we'll have to plant it all over again!" *laughing* "Oh, I LOVE YOU! " (a few minutes later) "I Bet you won't put this on your blog!" *laughing*

*wink* Just for you honey! ( Even though I still think it's leaf lettuce!)

I'm just hoping today's a Better day!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

He'll have my hide for this!

This morning I ran across this today, our 8.5 x 7.5 ft Cow hide Rug! Hang on, he's probably turning blue by now. (Honey, you can stop hyperventilating, there's a paper bag next to the computer, see it? Get it, and breathe Very Slowly! This is just the stock photo from the vendor I bought it from. I didn't actually take your baby out in the grass to take pictures. ) Sorry about that, Now where was I?....Okay this is the RUG, I bought my husband two years ago for Christmas. I was so excited to finally be able to afford something he had been drooling over for a long time, and surprise him. So, long story short where did I run across it today? Defiantly Not in the floor, Not where you would expect to find a RUG. No, it's neatly folded and tucked away in the closet. Away where nothing, Not kids, Not dust, Nothing can hurt it. Nor can anyone dare step a foot on it. You see we are saving it to drape across our bed, when we finally have our own home, that he will eventually build when we have money. (Right honey?) Tell them sweetie, tell these fine readers what you told me. ( Here let me help you *my hands moving his lips*) "It's NOT a RUG!" Well it darn sure could've fooled me!Why, somebody needs to contact the company selling them, and tell them they have there information All wrong. It is Not a rug! What was I thinking going to actually put it in the floor and walk across it, the nerve! Lean in real Close (*Whispering*...What he doesn't know is when he's at work I throw it in the floor and stomp all over it eating peanut butter and jelly ) I'm kidding! Sweetie, Don't give me that look! I'm only joking !! ( I'm really naked and rolling on it! lol, lol ) "Oh get off me..I need to finish this...So, someday hopefully before I am old and gray (nudge, nudge) we will have the furriest fanciest bed accessory around.(*Wink*)

*Note; Attention all animal rights activists out there*
No animals were harmed during the writing of this post!
Don't throw your red paint at my computer screen, these are the real people responsible.(For giving me something to make my husband happy and tease him with!)

Monday, June 16, 2008

Re-run Monday

So, here's the run down...
School is out.
We are on No set schedule.
I'm trying to be lenient.
Rules are being bent.
The kids sugar intake should have been less for today!
We've been at the lake all day.
I'm exhausted, But the kids are still going 90 miles a minute.
Toys are EVERY where!
I am trying to over look it all and resist my compulsive urges and just let them be kids.
(which isn't easy!)
All in all I can't think or hear for that matter. Therefore, today is Re-run Monday.
Here's an old post in case you missed it!

Jabber Jaws
Madisen is our little ‘Jabber Jaws’, she constantly talks. All the way to school, all the way home from school, and then she will follow you all over the house talking. It seems like she doesn’t even take a breath. It’s just on and on and you can forget getting in a word. We have finally found a good use for all this talking. Now when we get those annoying solicitors or debt collectors calling, I just let her answer the phone. The first time I did this, I said “here answer this and tell whoever is on the phone about when you lost your tooth”. She thought I was crazy but still went along. It didn’t take them long to hang up. The more they tried to say “Is your mommy or daddy home?” the louder she talked about her story. After they hung up, she said “uh…they hung up on me!” I just laughed and explained to her what I did. Now that’s her favorite game to play. Needless to say most of those calls have stopped!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Leave it and Loose it!

House Rule

All toys left in the floor are subject to the possibility of ending up in a landfill!

My girls are pack rats for all those misc. junk toys. Birthday party favors, Mc Donald's toys, if it comes with itty bitty pieces that can be broken or lost, they have it! I refuse to repeatedly pick up toys out of the floor. The girls know they are not supposed to leave toys laying all over the house. I can't stand stepping with my bare feet on little sharp toys. Little tiny Polly Pocket accessory's, marbles, rings you name it, are always finding there way all over the house. They are nothing but a choking hazard to Jacob (Aka vacuum lips), who searches for them on a constant basis. I feel like I am always nagging at the girls to pick them up and find them a home. They are old enough to keep them where they belong, yet refuse out of pure laziness. Therefore, If I see anything and pick it up more then twice it automatically goes straight the the trash. There's no warning or no announcement, it's just Gone! I swear Madisen has a photo graphic memory or something because nothing gets by her. She has 1000's of Polly pocket pieces all just crammed into drawers , and if one tiny shoe gets gone she knows it. She'll be in her room digging and hunting for one rubber shoe forever. Then the questions start ; Have you seen...? I can't find...? I just remind her, If she would keep things where they belong this wouldn't happen. Maybe once they run out of toys (that's a joke) they might learn their lesson. Until then it ends up just being a good way for me to weed out the population of the misc. toys!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Friday's Foto Finish Fiesta

Awe...The days of not having a care in the world. When the only thing on my agenda was swinging, drinking cool aid, and playing Barbie's. I would swing for hours and Daydream of what life would be like when I grow up... I'll be able to wear my own sexy lingerie outside! No one will be able to tell me I have to stop swinging and come inside, just because it's dark and I've been out here all day! If only I could go back for just one carefree moment. I'd put some barrets in that wind blown hair, give her some socks to stuff that gown, and tell her something funny (like something her future kids have done) for a smile! Here I think My kids have grown up fast. Where did my time go? I blinked and went from that swing to wrinkles, screaming kids, and bills.

Participating in Friday's Foto Finish Fiesta with Candid Carrie!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

At least it's nice to feel needed

Today my Not so tech savvy mother called, in dire need of cell phone support. This being the same woman who will call repeatedly, yelling at my answering machine for me to pick up the phone and answer her. I have voice mail not a standard answering machine so therefore I can not hear her. Hours later my inbox is filled calls of her yelling. "JOHNINA!!!, pick up the phone!....WOOHOO where are you at? HELLO...Pick up...she's not answering, I don't know where she is", *Click*).Which she still doesn't get, even though I have tried to explain this to her many times. She is always calling for support in many areas. There are many evenings she will call at 9pm, unable to work her VCR. Now how long has the VCR been around? Point taken then. So, with her owning many new technological things one of which is the dreaded Internet service, I am kept pretty busy.I spent a solid hour this morning walking her over the phone the steps of removing a text message from her phone. She was in a shear panic over the fact that my sister in law had sent her a very unpleasant text message. In which her first reaction was slam it shut and throw the phone. (As if it jumped out and bit her, I mean really what did she think that would do?) Apparently it contained two naked men shown from the waist down holding towels off their manhood! ("Here grab a towel you will owe me!" including music) She was absolutely mortified and wanted it removed immediately!Gripping the whole time... "why would she send this?", "I can believe this?", "how am I gonna get this off!", "I don't see that button!!", "What?? Where??", "I just can't believe this!". There was No way she would leave it on the phone until I could see her and do it myself. "What if someone sees this?","You have to help me get this off!!" ,"What if I'm in a wreck and someone thinks this is mine?"!! Explaining things to my mom is like trying to teach a dog new tricks, she just doesn't get the simplest instructions! A solid hour it took joke! Finally after beginning to sprout grey hairs, I was relieved to hear the sin had finally been removed and she could now function through the rest of her day! *blowing a sigh of relief* You know at least it's nice to feel needed!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

One expensive Lawn ornament

Keeping in the subject of Father's day, today I'll share a story about the Father of my babies! I just know he will be so thrilled. ( Honey I love you, in advanced! )
Today while biting the bullet and facing my fears of the snakes, that might be in the backyard. I grit my teeth and ran to the shed behind the house, to grab a container for our winter things. On my way back prancing through the weeds with fear, our hideous lawn ornament caught my attention. In which I instantly thought 'I am so Bloggin this!' and I had no trouble what so ever going back to capture it on film. So ladies and gentlemen, (wait a minute ...'Gentlemen'? Do the men that accidentally click on my bright pink goddess pages actually stay and read? hmm, Most certainly Not, but I'll include them anyways !) Sorry my mind travels... without further ad due;
Our Lawn ornament!

I'm sure you are all dying to hear the story behind this, right?

(Sorry babe, I Must give the readers what they want!)

You see... 4 Summers ago I get a call from my husband. "SWEETIE, GUESS WHAT?!!" (All caps cause he was very excited!) "I JUST BOUGHT A JET SKI, FOR $1200!!" Did you catch that key word there? Bought, he BOUGHT a jet ski. Not found a jet ski for sale. Not there's a jet ski I want to buy, let's go look at it. Nope, he spent $1200, without even so much as a phone call of opinion or permission! Looking back how I always give in anyways, I see this was partially my fault as well. Regardless, he took it upon himself to buy it, and now we owned it. That evening when we finally met up, the guilty party wasn't so brave talking face to face. (hugging & kissing all over me while he tried convincing me, it was a good buy) He talked all about how the money was fine, we'll be able to use it at the lake, he'll take us all camping more,Oh the fun we'll have! After finally giving in (like I had a choice, it was Bought!), I was all excited to use it too. The first time out we went by ourselves, a little test run before we actually go camping with the kiddos... We drove 2 hours out to the lake, put it in the water, we both got on to go for a little cruising on the lake. Five minutes in the water and it dumps us over into the freezing cold water. Floating next to the up side down jet ski, he's fussing at me that I leaned, and I'm fussing at him that he leaned! (Looking back in my opinion the cursed water craft thing pitched us on purpose!) Climbing back thrilled with anticipation (I'm hanging on for dear life..."Now Don't go too fast!" He's laughing, Too late for that!") off we go putting across the lake. I say 'Putting' not wind blowing in my hair speeding, we were Putting along! "Um..."You can go faster than this!"... "Uh-No I can't" Apparently the little $1200 used man toy jet ski, was on the side of the road for a purpose. BECAUSE, It had No Power !! None, what so ever! I swear I think I saw fish swimming faster than we were going. Frustrated with the absolutely boring ride, we ride over to the bank where he dumped me off. Sure it was that fact of hauling two of us, he tries to go out on his own. Still Nothing! Disappointed, Pouting, and thinking of every excuse for this loss of Awe, he claimed it must be the fuel pump. It will be an easy fix, not to worry. We will be back and flying through the water in no time. That was the last and only time it has ever been in the water since we have owned it. With lots of weekends working on it in the back yard with a garden hose, useless parts and a frown, he finally gave up the dream. Ever since it has been our lovely yard ornament, with no one with enough pity to buy it for parts. (*shaking head*...Men and there Toys, I swear!) Needless to say any and all big purchases, have miraculously been given my approval ever since.

My idea is we spend just a little more money on it, and purchase a big metal spring. That way with his welder he can make Jacob a nice Jet ski, Yard Toy. Something kinda like this;

I think I'll mention it to him tonight. I'm sure with your helpful comments I can convince him! ; )

BTW: All those waiting that participated in 911 Any Suggestions
I LOVED all the emailed Ideas! I had so many to choose from. There was no way to narrow it down to one and cover all three men. Therefore I have chosen Two. And They are...
Tracy P. - I know my father in Law will love it. (Sorry can't mention it, in case the MIL is here peeking in! Hi, Laurie !!)
Gayle - For obvious reasons I can't mention one of your ideas. One Jason would see it and be Overly Joyed and it would spoil the surprise, because he would want it NOW ! ;)
The other idea she came up with is for my Dad. Which, was to be his little girl again and remind him of the past. As for that it might sound Cheesy, But I'm taking him to McDonald's & fishing with the kids. What's a 70+ year old man want to do that for? Well when I was little McDonald's was OUR place. He would always ride his bike with me and the two of us would go to McDonald's & go fishing! That was, just Our thing! So, bla bla bla...that's what we will do. I think I'll have the kids make him a card & stick a picture of us, from when I was little on the front! Wa-la
Thank you, Both!
I am Now the Best friend you ever wanted to have. I'll comment away, and Anything You Need, just Yell! Want to chat, have questions I'm your Gal! Although, I'm not coming over to babysit, have a play date or clean your house. Well, scratch that...You wanna buy me a plane ticket, It's summer, I need to get away ..Sure,What the heck!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

911 Any suggestions?

HOLY CRAP! Just a minute ago I almost peed myself realized this Sunday is Father's Day! Why hasn't anyone told me? Frantic in disbelief I called my mom to enlighten her on my new found news. Apparently she thinks my oblivious behavior is funny and was going to wait until the night before to tell me. Which, I know would really have been the morning of, after I was already in hot doo-doo for forgetting it for Jason. The kids are now out of school, so no drop hints there of cobbled up Daddy gifts. We all know I can't keep track of the major stuff like Dr. appointments, how much gas is in the car or paying the car insurance. So what made anyone think I'd remember the Ode to Dad's day? Did you think I was supposed to just take a hint from all the Hallmark commercials? I'm a blond, Hello! I could have cut back on groceries, used less toilet paper... something to afford gifts. (even sucky gifts would be something!) Now I'm left with chump change and three men to buy for! Sure, I can stretch a dollar but I can't squeeze the life out of it and make miracles! Oh the words I will eat on Sunday morning. (Last Mother's Day & my birthday ..."you never buy me anything, anymore! ") Now, how am I supposed to make to Jason feel guilty for not spoiling me rotten, when I end up only being able to buy him is a candy bar? "Here you go sweetie, your such a great Dad!" I can just see the look of Love and appreciation that would bring. Not to mention what a fine DIL I'll look like. "Yep, she's a fine one. No special gift in the mail, only a cheap Dollar tree card and it was three days Late! You know that whole three kids excuse just isn't flying with me anymore!" Then there's My own Dad, who will feel like disowning me also. "What the heck, there's a lot of thought...Another package of under shirts, Yippe. I haven't even opened the last Frikin package she bought, Yet! " ( Not that my dad would say Frikin, I don't even think that's in his vocabulary, but it sounded better than 'dag-gone, stinkin'.) So, needless to say unless I start getting some good suggestions on what to do and how to do it, this will be a bad weekend!
Anyone with a sprig of thought send your suggestions to my email. ( First leave a comment here, so I'm aware. That way your not mistaken for spam!) If I use your suggestion I will not only be your new BFF , a comment whore on your blog, but I'll owe you a huge favor back! (Come on have pity Y'all, Pu-leeze) Just please don't leave it in the comments for wondering eyes o-Tay!!! Advanced {{hugs}}!

~Desperately awaiting your pity....

Monday, June 9, 2008

Oh great, Aunt Flow is coming!

If I only could write my Aunt Flow a letter to tell her how I really feel;

Dear Aunt Flow,
Each and every month I wait and anticipate your arrival. Counting down the days until that dreaded moment, when you first appear. Days before you come I start to prepare, shopping for each and everything I will need while you are here. You always stay way past your welcome. It makes it so hard to plan when you are here, not knowing when you will disappear. Your such an inconvenience, with the disruption you bring. Little things that never bother me are now a monumental nuisance, from the hormonal tizzy you bring on. I'm no longer myself and turn into some crazy eyed witch, taking out my irritability and anger on everyone around me. I've got a headache already and I'm not looking forward to your cramping style. No sex, no thongs just water retention, and temptations of chocolate. Why why why... must you come? I'd find away to get rid of you, but I know that might make things worse!
Seeing how you did provide my three babies, I guess I can put up with you for a few more years. I'm getting older and soon you'll be dead and I can dance on your grave! (or at least I can jump on my menopausal cycle and ride over you!)
Looking and waiting for you ~

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Camp Oh no she didn't ?

Yesterday was technically the last day of school, whoo-hoo! My mom taking advantage of the fact invited the girls to come spend the weekend with her. When Kailey was little she went through a stage of wanting to stay all the time, and has since outgrown the urge and is becoming more of a home body. If she does happen to stay she is usually calling to come home. Following in her foot steps Madisen is now going through the same thing and begs all the time to stay. So, as of Yesterday evening the girls are at Camp Mamaw & Papaw. Where the only motto is "Sure sweetie What-ever YOU want!" (something of which the girls take Full advantage of!) Pure example, Last night when I talked to Kailey at 9:00pm, she was on such a sugar high I could feel her bouncing through the phone line. Barely able to hold a conversation constantly giggling , she told me she had a piece of cake (knowing my moms slices it was more than I could eat!) and two Popsicles! O-Kay... ("Jason lock the doors, turn off the ringer, no matter What she is Not coming home tonight!") Did they not learn from the last time she stayed and was up till 2 am, wanting to come home? I can hear them now...Gee, I just don't know why she doesn't sleep over here? lol
Well good thing was we didn't hear a peep! They Claim, she slept all night and did fine. (I find that hard to believe!) But, Not my problem they should heed my warnings!
My mom, God love her, she endures a lot. (Even if most of it she brings on herself !) Poor thing this morning Madisen really gave her a run for her money;

My mom: (putting on face moisturizer in the bathroom)
Madisen: Mamaw your old!
My mom: Do you think so Honey?
Madisen:Well just look in the mirror, there!
My mom: (*Blink-Blink*)
Madisen: Look at you...your are wrinkled up, even your knees are Old! Are you going to be leaving to go on to heaven?
My mom: Well, I hope not anytime soon! (pulling on her neck) Do you think I need to have plastic surgery and get rid of this goose neck?
Madisen: Well, it does hang down!

I was laughing so hard my sides were hurting, when she told me this! Leave it to Madisen to bluntly point out the obvious. My mom was really feeling good about her self after that...

"You know I bet she does think I should already be in the grave! She's used to being around all young people at school and stuff, I bet she does wonder. Oh and don't worry she said she would keep my grave full of flowers when I die! "

So, anyways get this, 8am this morning on the phone when she telling me this, she say's "So, are you coming over today?"

Coming over?!! I'll be over on Sunday, UUhhh, My kids are at Camp Grandma! Uh Hello, I have a semi-quiet house, finally a little me time to get things done. Why would I want to come over?? (sigh)

Yet, I still have to explain myself to her with a feeling of guilt! Me explaining..."O-kay...Maybe?...but I have so much I could be doing! " So, although I'd rather not, guess who else is probably going to be at Camp Mamaw & Papaw's today?" So much for my mini Vacation before Monday's onset of my 24/7 Summer break with the kids! (Which I am looking forward too! Speaking of which I need to get planning!)

Friday, June 6, 2008

Friday's Foto Finish Fiesta

"UUUHH...Mommy this looks nothing like the pool I picked out in the store!"

Participating in Friday's Foto Finish Fiesta with Candid Carrie!
Taking a look back on the past. Aw...The days when we only had One child and could splurge a little!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Beware It's Contagious!

Tonight all the speakers were turned up and Everybody was...
(You might as well stand up to watch this, because unless your paralyzed you can't sit still!)

Play <<< Play <<< Play <<< Play & Repeat

Thank You, Madisen my little sweetness!)

I now know what I will be singing in my head for the next Several days!
("Oh-oh-oh-oh Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting...hmm, hmm, hmm")

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I am smokin HOT!

I'm smokin Hot!...But Clearly not in the sense you might be thinking. It's been a hot humid 89 degrees today, my Tahoe over heated, put a fork in me I'm done! (I don't think I have a dry thread on me!) I look like I've been walking across the Sonora Desert all day.

Everyday with my car over heating my only choices are;

1.Pull over on the side of the road (with three kids!), while the water in my car boils over, and wait 45 minutes for it to cool down to add more water. Not to mention having to deal with all the men that feel the need to stop, and help this poor damsel in Distress.(In which, Jason would never let me drive, if he knew!)
2.Drive with the heat on High to keep the temperature down, and baby it every where I need to go.At the same time suffocating myself in the front with all the heat! ...
Which is the option I always choose!

What a horrible ride that is...
I look pretty ridiculous driving with my arms out trying to get a cross breeze through my blouse, with sweat dripping down me. Having all the windows down helps the kids in the back seat but does nothing for me. It's all I can do to drive constantly switching my feet away from the burning air.(And still each morning I put on flip flops!!). Mady complains the whole ride about the burning smell in the car. (which she refuses to believe is my skin!)

Today, I stopped and got the kids ice cream dots to keep them cool . Which would have been a great idea had I not forgot the spoons!!Yes, with no where to get any, you imagine what a sticky finger mess that was! (At least we had wipes with us), I myself restrained from the urge and settled for a cold bottle of water. So occupied driving through traffic, I reached to quench my thirst and got a nice big swig of, Hot Water! I even burned my lips from the melted top of the bottle! (That I Had Left Sitting In Front Of The Air Vent!!). Yep good times!

At least I can look at it in a few positive ways.
Knowing my makeup will be melted off and my hair with be flat.
I don't have to spend as much time primping in the mornings.
I've learned a lot about what goes on under the hood of my car, And what to do!

I don't have to worry about getting any speeding tickets, because I can't drive fast.

I now know the brand of my deodorant works wonders, to sweat that much and not stink!

I have a new found appreciation for Air Conditioning. (the greatest thing, since sliced bread!)

I'm beginning to get a good air tan going on.

All & All, I guess I shouldn't complain.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Straighten out those bunny ears and get comfy!

I'm excited to say; I was given the opportunity to pre-view some new episodes of sitcom series for TBS & TNT networks. With all the fall series gone leaving us with nothing but reruns, I jumped at the opportunity.

The Bill Engvall Show
From Blue collar TV , hilarious redneck comedian Bill Engvall now has his own sitcom. (need I say more?)
I was so thrilled to finally see a descent family sitcom. With this show the family issues are true to life and comical, and (the best part!) I wasn't forced to chase the kids out of the room to watch it!
Pausing a show Every time the kids round the corner, because your afraid of what they might see or hear, does not make for a pleasant evening. The minute it gets good or interesting here they come, then your forced to sit and wait till they leave. Meanwhile you paused it right in the middle of an important sentence and your forced to back it up. I can't tell you how many times we have watched a show and had to back up the same scene four to five times because of them.

"Engvall plays Bill Pearson, a family counselor who can’t always figure out his own family. Nancy Travis (Bght Live, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story) plays his best friend. The ecker, The Jane Austen Book Club) co-stars as his wife, while Tim Meadows (Saturday Niseries also features the Pearson children, played by Jennifer Lawrence (The Burning Plain), Graham Patrick Martin (The Girl Next Door) and Skyler Gisondo (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story).

Set in a Denver suburb, Engvall and Travis offer a humorous look at what it takes to be a parent in today’s world. They face parenting issues like allowance controversies, driver’s licenses and parking tickets, all while trying to keep the spark alive in their marriage and balancing work with family life." ...Tbs network

Missed the first season? Start Catching up, Sun. June 8th 5:30pm
New episodes start June 12th 9:00pm

My Boys

I don't Know how I have managed to miss this series, but let me tell you I Love it!! It has all the makings of a chic flic series with all the butch stuff thrown in for the guys. Defiantly a show my husband and I will be able to watch together. All these guys thrown in with their beer, sports and attitude with a butch yet sexy fun chic, caters to a big audience. It has enough humor in it for the men to forget that the whole show revolves around this one woman! (Sly move Tbs writers!)

My advice don't ever use the words chic & show/flic/series together, in anything you want your guy to watch. Otherwise it will be doomed from the beginning!

About the Show; Tv-14 (Although, nothing too harsh to panic when the little ones come running! Whoo-hoo)
It is a fresh, contemporary comedy set in Chicago, about friends helping friends through the dating game and life’s challenges. In the cliffhanger at the end of the first season, PJ Stephanie (Stewart) was hopping on a plane with her friend for a double-date trip to Rome. PJ invited some potential companions on this trip and just before take-off, she receives a message that her date is waiting for her in first class. Her mystery companion could be one of three guys; globe-trotting reporter Thorn Packer (Jeremy Sisto); botanist Evan (Michael Landes); or Cubs player Mitt Dougan (Travis Schuldt). It could even be one of her close male friends, such as Bobby (Howard) or Brendan (Scott), given her previous – albeit brief – romantic entanglements with each of them. Once the mystery is solved, PJ and her date join Stephanie and her boyfriend for what they hope will be a fun-filled excursion through Rome. Whether the fun times will continue when they return to U.S. shores remains to be seen.

Meanwhile, PJ’s brother, Andy (Gaffigan), moves back to the city after he and his now-pregnant wife decide they’ve had enough of suburban life. That means Andy will be around for the weekly poker games in PJ’s apartment. They are joined by their close-knit group of friends: Brendan a DJ, who is coming off of just being named one of Chicago’s hottest bachelors; Kenny (Bunin), who recently dated a pregnant woman; Mike (Kaler), who finally found a job working at Kenny’s sports memorabilia store; and Bobby, who faces being viewed differently now that his friends know he’s incredibly wealthy.

Stephanie, PJ’s best friend from when they attended journalism school together, finished the first season on an upswing. After having struggled through a credit crisis, she landed a new boyfriend in the person of Lance (Schuyler Yancey), her credit counselor. Now the two are heading to Rome for a dream vacation with PJ and her mystery man"...Tbs network.

You can see episodes from last season at 12:00 am tonight on TBS (Of course I will be in the bed, leaving the DVR to watch it for me!)
New episodes starting June 12th 9:30 pm

(Stay tuned for updates on other shows you might be missing out on!)

Monday, June 2, 2008

Admission for Five

As a new Birthday tradition, last night we drug out some home video entertainment. With bad planning we only had enough time to recap the past year with two videos. Even so the night was filled with lots of laughing, yawning, and tears.
Jake's Birth
The girls overwhelming start into big sisterhood
All Jake's First accomplishments
(crying,smiling,eating,talking,jumping,walking ect..)
Madisen starting off the year with teeth and ending with barely enough to chew
the kids playing
Birthday parties
Kailey being a mother hen to both younger siblings
& Lots of funny stuff

Video taping don't s for future taping
Don't tape while on the phone (Jason!)
Never give the kids the camera to tape themselves Again!( I have never been so dizzy in my life, watching a 30 minute puppet show. I said tape YOURSELF not stuffed toys! Geesh)
Taping the baby forever eating, Not a good idea! (FMI...No matter how bored I am, do not do this! Okay we get it the child learned to eat off a spoon >>FF >>FF >>FF on to something else!)
No talking to babies when no one is home! (Boredom Alarm, Again ! FMI- You sound stupid, no one is around wait till the camera is off to talk to yourself)
Know that whatever you tape, can be held as evidence against you in future (such as repeatedly coaxing baby to say mama first!)
Know that whatever you tape can be used as blackmail against others (I'm thinking their future boyriends/girlfriends! Ex; Madisen in a port a potty & Kailey trying to cheer)
Add the dat
e to the screen (Although you think you can guess ages and dates you can't)
Don't be a camera hog (just being the voice in the video doesn't count as being In the family video!)
Mark the tape every time with information (less we not forget taping over kailey's baby video , with car commercials!!)

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