Time Traveling to see the Guineas

Pencils down voting is now officially closed. Looks the the majority picked C, so everyone sign a Risk release form and let's get going. I will not be responsible for anyone stuck in the past, so please stay with group. Please remove all hats, sunglasses and loose objects before entering the time capsule. (Teresa that includes the tiara. Give it to Kailey to hold and Mrs. Joos I love ya but there is no eating on the capsule so leave your apples.) Now, if you are all ready please watch your step and cram in to make room for everyone.
*Overhead announcement*
Just a little tweak here and we will be on our way. Please Fasten your safety belts and listen to my lovely volunteer assistant. Since all doors are officially sealed and locked Outnumbered221 would you do me the honor of explaining the following Note I have left for you:
:"Please remain calm but, there are No emergency escape exits and we have limited air."
Ps; Don't panic at this point their belts are locked

Great job Outnumbered221, only next time lets please keep the hand gestures to a minimum. This is a G rated blog you know!

Hang on tight here we goooooo..... 2008,>>>>2007>>>>2006>>>>

"Would you like to add an order of cinnamon twists with your order?"

Oh crap everyone remain seated we went too far, let me try again.

<<<<1997<<<1999<<<2000<<<2005!>

Here we are, where it all started Super Pets. There we are all peeking in the cages at the guinea pigs of all shapes, colors and sizes. The girls are bickering back and forth over which pig they are going to get, who's going to name it, and who's going to hold it first. This is where Jason and I realized exactly what we were purchasing, (a daily headache) and decided to let them each pick out a fur ball. See the sign Each one a whopping $25 bucks a pop! ($50 + 2 cages , food for 2 ect.. That would buy a lot of Tylenol!) This is where some geeky store dude comes to tell us about the store guarantee they are all females, we figured problem solved. So we grabbed a cage and all the other expensive must have goodies and headed to the cash register. Now,Did you see it? That was where Jason and I exchanged the look of ' Holy crap are you kidding me!' ,as that young cashier barely able to make change made our day. Seems for whatever reason she decided to charge us for mice instead of guineas, giving us $50. guineas for $3.00! Should I have opened my mouth and said something? Probably. Did I? Heck no, were talking a $47 discount.You saw me, I put all my merchandise on the counter, cashier rang it up, and I paid the total she gave me. That by all means is Not stealing. It's not my fault they decided to hire ignorant help. Besides how many times have you gotten home looked at your ticket and realized you were overcharged? I have countless times! Did I go back and make a big Ta-do over it , NO! So, the way I justify it, it's Carma.

All was fine and dandy until Carma decided to bite us in the butt! 6 months later ...Come on...
(Now everyone make room and gather around the cage. Please overlook the mess, these guineas are messy. By the way Don't pet the dog. He gets nervous around strangers and pees.)

Here they are are Brownie & Harriet. Harriet is the white one with brown spot with the hair that touches the ground. Brownie is the short haired black and brown one. Aren't they cute? Now everybody watch and listen carefully. It's a Sunday afternoon Jason's on the computer next to the cage. (hands off ladies!) the girls are playing with the guineas and I'm in the other room.
Jason; "I think somethings wrong with Harriet?"
Me; running in, "What do you mean? What's wrong with her?"
Jason: "She hasn't been moving at all. I think she has a tumor or something on her side."
*We're all poking and prodding her*
Me; " The vet is closed, I'll call the store maybe they will know?"

(This is where I start pacing through the house, you'll have to follow to hear me)

Store: "Do you think maybe your Guinea is pregnant?"
Me; "It can't be I bought them at your store and they are supposed to be all females."
Store: "Oh, well then, Yes they are, maybe you should check...."

*Screaming* Jason and the girls: Harriet's Having Babies!!!!!!!!!
(if you have a weak stomach this would be the time you should look away!)

Me; "Never mind my question has been answered! You don't sell ALL females!!"

A few days later...
(Lean in close and I will explain, why it looks like I am Sexually harassing this poor guinea)
You see I was professionally advised that Ozzy AKA Brownie, would find Harriet one sexy pig now that she has given birth. If I didn't want him knocking her up again right away or inbreeding any of his daughters, he and any boys needed to be seperated.
So, That is why you see me in front of the computer, taking each squealing pig and examining their privates.
Why do I keep groping them over and over and looking, you ask?

Well, it's not as easy as it sounds. The picture on the computer is very hard to comprehend on a young pig. Yes, I see the donut or the V on the computer! Look, push back the fur what do you see? Seriously! This is no laughing matter. There's 5 guineas to get through and time is ticking. Look, See! Not so easy is it? Even if there is a V, you have to push down and see if anything pokes out or not. I told you it was more complicated than it looks!

Okay people this goes on for hours and we need to get back!

Take one last peek and the guinea pee pee's and we need to go.

>>>>>>>>>>2008

Hope you've enjoyed your time travel, hope you can join any future adventures.

Because I said No! Can't we just leave it at that?

This out of all things is what Kailey picks up and brings me, in Wal-Mart today. Only what she picked up and brought had a huge picture on the front. "Mommy can we get these!? Why Not? What are they for?" Aisle full of customers, waiting to hear my explanation. That was one time I resisted just grabbing it out of her hands, and putting it back myself. Last thing I want is someone I know, to turn down the aisle and see me hold it. Then you get that look of ; sure your little girl did that, wonder what she needs those for? I guess at least she asked and didn't just throw them in the buggy, when my head was turned as usual. Imagine what a surprised look I would have had, once I got to the checkout counter if she hadn't. Then I would have been panicked as to who saw them riding through the entire store in MY buggy and what they might have thought. I'm telling you the kids, I swear...

*Before I go I have a few announcements ;
A shout out of love to one of my readers Alicia Thank You for the Award !And the three I pass it along to are...

Outnumber2To1

AppleJoos

Big Rawks

Reminders;

Tomorrow is Tuesday's Summer tips. Keep them coming!

We are still overly busy with Summer. With that note a warning my posts may be like that of a womans period, Irregular but short and sweet.

Friday Fill-Ins

1. If I could be a fly on the wall I would follow my husband to work and watch him in his tool belt all day!

2. Jealousy is the number 1 reason I could go postal, when it comes to my husband .

3. When I see a shooting star my wish would be that a billionaire would take pity on our family and make us rich .

4. I'd rather be Ramon noodle poor in love than rich, unloved & miserable any day!

5. Certain songs when I hear them make me feel 18 and wild again!

6. If time were in a bottle I'd buy it buy the truckloads.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to Not cooking!, tomorrow my plans include preparing for bible school & pulling my hair out and Sunday, I want to leave for a relaxing getaway but I'll be at church instead!


Participate in Friday Fill-Ins!

Desperatly Tanning

Yesterday a moment of my day was like a scene out of some desperate housewives movie. Here I was laying out in my bikini all soaked down in tanning oil, trying desperately to get a tan. Turning my head to the side I opened my eyes and...

{This would be where I insert the screech of a stopped record}

reality smacks me right in the face! I see the baby monitor to the sleeping baby in the house, the sides of the trampoline I'm laying on, and then the silence is broken. Kailey sits up right next to me in her little sports bra and shorts and says "Let's pretend this is the beach!" So there we laid chit chatting it up spending time together doing Big Girl stuff.

You know I remember the days when I could jump in my convertible Camaro at a moments notice, and lay carefree at the tanning bed. Relaxing in peace and quiet slowly drifting of to a quick nap. No baby to awake and cut my time short. No one there poking my skin to see if I'm tanning or not. Nothing but time to relax!(sigh)

Even though Motherhood changed my life so drastically, I have to say chasing off the spiders and keeping secrets is a whole lot better!

Here we are~

Bikini Girls

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Tuesday's Summer Tips

With summer here All the kids are out of school, leaving us with that burning question; What do we do? I thought it would be fun to take a day where everyone could share their Tips & Advice for Summer. So...
What inventive ideas are you coming up with to keep them busy?
(crafts, games, places to go, things to do!)
Now that everyone is out of their element with the kids home and not at school what tricks are you using to keep them in line?
Any advice to all of us mother's?
Even if you don't have kids you too can share ideas too! Some of us have Mother's we need to keep busy. hint hint , wink wink...Also, I know Some have kids going to camp, sleep overs, so we do need adult activities or vacations thrown in too! Have a great get away? (I promise I won't show up dragging the kids and bother you in your secret spot!)

If you'd like to join in and add a post, which will also drive up your traffic on Tuesdays. Comment, Post on your site with a link back & send me the link! I'll post your link, below my post and everyone passing through can click your link to share Summer Tips & Advice!
Thank you to all those who participated last week!

Clearly too young for this Toy!

No matter how bored they are, Do not let them play with old cell phones (with No service)! If you do this might happen to you...
Officer:"911 what's your Emergency?"
Me: "Yes, I'm really sorry but my two girls were playing with an old cell phone. They just brought it to me scared saying the call actually went through. I really apologize I had no idea it would do that."
Officer:" Yes, they actually called three times! Even with no service the phone will still call 911. I am going to need all your information to make out a full report."

Send your links to jregish@charter.net!

To hear more Summer Tips & Advice click on the links below~


Outnumbered 2 to 1~Licking Elephant Ears!
Nana's Needle Nook~ Menu please
Tsosie & Peterson Bunch~Something that will last way past summer!
Who say's 8 is Enough?~ Most Important!!
Lisa-Whathaveidone ~Beach Bums

Future Discussions

16 Years from now...

"Mom why is my hair so greasy? Nothing seems to help."

"Well Jake it's seems it all goes back to when you were 14 months old. I drastically underestimated your speed and slyness. You see within minutes of the dead silence that fell upon the house, I ran frantically looking for you. To find you slathering yourself with handfuls of Vaseline you somehow managed to discover. Here you were with your hair caked in it, rubbing it all over your arms.What a disastrous mess that was!"

(Here I thought I had his entire room childproof! Seems he must have been eying that large jar of Vaseline, I forgot in his changing table. )

Reminder Tomorrow is Tuesday's Summer Tips! All those interested in participating send me your links jregish@charter.net

Choose Wisely

All I can say is choose your words wisely, when you are parenting your children. Young children have a way of soaking them up in their brain, and using them against you when you least expect it.
After nights of the relentless chore of trying to keep the girls in the bed at bedtime, we decided to limit evening sugar. Desert after supper was keep to a minimum and in the evening hours it was cut out completely. When they would come running begging for ice cream or candy at 7:30pm, the answer was always the same. "No it has sugar and... it will make you wild in the bed". Which eventually became our funny family household saying when they came asking. Funny that was until it some how ventured it's way to be used outside the household. Here we were late one evening at a church gathering, fellowshipping with finger foods. Talking amongst a bunch of others, I started to eat something sweet. Next thing I know, Madisen blurts out real loud, "Daddy!! Is Mommy gonna be wild in the bed tonight?" I'm sure I turned four shades of red, trying to explain her statement. Leave it to little Mrs. Innocent to say something at just the right moment. So, again speaking from experience Choose wisely.

For all those wondering, Barbie (and her friends) were safely released today. In need of some clothes and a good hair brushing, but returned all in one piece. Seems those that were scared for her life were very willing to immediately cooperate. They over compensated with many shocking loving gestures toward one another. The demands were unexpectedly carried out within minutes, yet nothing was returned till the hours were met. They were very much relieved once they saw just exactly what they would have been donating to the less fortunate, had this gone bad. The needed adjustment has been my breath of fresh air. At this point I do not see these events reoccurring in the near future. A big Thank you goes out to all those who were concerned for Barbie's safety!

The Ransom Note

Dear Little girls,

Can't find your missing toys? Look no further for it's probably gone! Because my threats of sending you to summer school have failed. I have taken hostage a sack full of miscellaneous toys. It may contain some of your prized possessions or ones you don't even miss. Not to worry I will take good care of them as long as you cooperate. You must comply with the following demands or you will never see your little pretties again. I want all fighting and bickering to stop! No more yelling and tattling about who has or done what. I don't want to see battle scars and evidence to plead your case. I will not let it ruin our summer with loosing privileges and fun. So, stopping the whinnying and stomping is a must! Until then you can sit and think of poor Barbie and a few other Bratz somewhere in the middle of the bag, desperately praying to avoid the trash. Now, you have 24 hrs. to do a complete attitude overhaul or your precious little Barbie's coming back in pieces. The rest of the toys will be dumped at the local salvation army, to good little children with no toys. You just thought you couldn't share. Think what fun those kids will have playing with your toys!

Love, Mom

Local Headlines

Here's A clip from our Local newspaper

July7,2008

Man found Bludgeoned to death in Local Wal-Mart

Fourth of July weekend a Wal-Mart shopper saw his own fireworks show, up close and personal. A Box boy found the man lying in the toy aisle around noon and called for help. The man was pronounced DOA when officers and Emergency services arrived on the scene. Reports indicated the man was beaten to death with a Barbie box. Investigators said All cable ties to the Barbie and accessories where no longer intact, which proved the excessive force used during the beating. After further investigation surveillance tapes relieved a blond woman in her early thirties with three small children, committed the crime. On lookers of the tapes said they have never seen such excessive violence take place so quickly. "One minute she was shopping and the next she was beating this man like a rabid mad animal. She had this look in her eyes, and I believe she was even foaming at the mouth." The man twice her size was knocked on the ground without warning. He tried to shield his face from the blows, but was deemed defenseless as she continued beating him relentless. Once the man stopped moving she gathered herself, ran him over with her cart and nonchalantly went on about her shopping. This Mother of three's name has not been released. She was eventually tracked down and taken into custody, but later released. No charges have been filed, due to the aggravated assault and attempted kidnapping the dead man was charged with. It seems the Mother like a agitated Bear was only protecting her cub, when the man grabbed her daughters arm. Law enforcement plan to use the tapes as a warning to other pedophiles in the area. It will be mandatory shown prior to any pedophiles release. What can happen when Mothers take the law into their own hands. As a result to the incident area Wal-marts in support, are considering changing their theme motto's to "Where you can Roll back your sleeves to make shopping a pleasure". (Con't on pg.18)

Okay You caught me, It's all a fake. No, I really didn't make the local headlines. But, I would have had that man not released my child's arm when he did! It's sad to know your not even safe to shop in Wal-mart!

*Reminder*
Tomorrows Tuesday's Summer Tips
All participants send your links to jregish@charter.net

911 Gossip

By now phones all over the county have been ringing off the hook, spreading the word. Mother's are warning their children. Children are working their little fingers to nubs texting about IT. I'm sure the little girl this happened to will need extensive mental counseling. I'm sure her mother was up with her all night with nightmares, the poor thing. I just can't imagine what she is thinking or going through. My thoughts and prayers go out to her!

Previous events from yesterday;

Kailey's little boyfriends family took her whitewater rafting, for her birthday. (like her mom, she has good taste in men!) Despite every reluctant bone in my body, I ignored all the fears and allowed her to go. Scared and literally worried sick I patiently waited to hear from her.

6 long hours later the phone rings...
Me: "hello!!!!"
Kailey: "hi!"
Me:" Oh thank goodness you called sweetie! I have been so worried about you! So are you having fun?"
Kailey: "Uh-huh"
Me: "You didn't fall off the boat did you?"
Kailey: " Uh, No!"
Me: "Oh I'm so glad, I can't tell you how worried I have been! Did you already eat lunch?"
Kailey: " Umm....yeah"
Me: (She sounded like something was bad wrong, Now I'm really worried)"Are you sure your having fun?"
Kailey: "Uh-huh"
Me: "What's the matter? The water didn't scare you did it? Is Tom okay? What's the matter?"
Kailey: "Is Kailey home?"
Me: " Um- what? Who is this?"
Kailey Emily: "This is Emily is Kailey home?"
(OH-CRAP!)
Me: (Trying everything to explain myself) "I thought you sounded different! I figured it was just the phone. I am so sorry Kailey's ...."

Poor girl I bet she'll never call back again, nor will Any of her friends for that matter!

As for me I'll be ordering my rubber room now.
(Birdie's flying around my head " coo-coo coo-coo" )