Dear it's okay, hardly anyone reads my blog anyways.

What am I staring at?

I can tell you it's nothing that will be saving me money on or for ANYTHING!

Well, I take that back. I guess it could save us money if we were going to a football game. There would be no need to purchase a big FOAM FINGER when you have a guy with this sitting with you...

This is Jason's new excuse to get my attention. I guess he figured he better step it up a notch, Seeing how these never seemed to work;

All the times ,Getting sick , I mean dying (funny how he's still alive and kicking)
The chronic back pain, with a chiropractor insisting he needed to be seen weekly.
(Come on! I could not believe he was falling for that one. Anyone who walks through the door automatically has one leg longer than the other and needs to be on a regimen of weekly treatments)
Ear pain ~where he claimed to hear ringing & couldn't hear

( which I think was just an excuse to ignore me!)
Never mind the endless searches on webMD.com...
The time he had Shingles, because my mom had it.

(Only his was just a stiff neck)
His big toe was killing him ( he swore he must have Gout)
The spot on his belly (Defiantly was Ringworm, NOT!)
Chest pain, when he almost called me to say his goodbyes
( which was nothing more than hot peanuts he had ate)
And...I figure these will get me in enough trouble so I better stop! But, I'm telling you I could keep going.

Personally just between You, Me, and the fence post I think he just purposely tried to get hurt. How else does a man who is constantly playing with power tools get hurt on a measly ol' ratchet strap?

"Honey, sure I believe your story. You were adjusting it and it smacked back and tore open your finger. I know, I believe you!" (*shaking my head No*)

Bless his heart, look at these nasty stitches.

In his defence, it was alot more swollen earlier, and it was so painfull he practically fainted when they washed it.

"Yes Dear, your right!"

I forgot to mention He didn't even have Tylenol.

"I didn't even have Tylenol when I gave birth, but it's not like it's a competition."

A few days of resting, with his finger stuck straight up in the air, and I'm sure he'll be as good as new. Well, with a little less feeling in the finger, seeing how he cut a nerve, but New.

"You know Dear if you just wanted to stay home with me, all you had to do was take a day off!"

"Settle down, I'm only Joking!! I know you really got hurt. Alright alright,I'll make it up to you. How about a nice back rub? Or a ... DEAR! come back..."

Doesn't anyone hire Americans?

Advanced apology letter;
Dear Readers,
Please forgive me for the post you are about to read.

For all of you two second regulars stopping in from the sand countries, this especially applies to you.
(Yes, I know you secretly come by. The camel dung, gave you away.)

I apologize to anyone who may find the content of this post offensive. Please don't throw shoes at me, or overload the comment box. I love all of you and just like to poke a little fun. Besides, where I come from teasing is a form of affection!

Advanced prayer;
Dear Lord,
As Larry the cable guy would say "Please forgive me and be with the pygmies in New Guinea"!
Oh, and Ps; help those who read my sad and pathetic blog, to find humor in my pinkness!
And be with all the sick people...
And help me to have patients as a mother. Especially right now with Jacob attacking me while I'm typing praying.
Pss; Be with Kailey today at school, as she learns to ride a bike with one hand. In which I think is unsafe. You know Lord, I better pray for her teacher also. She really needs her head examined! By the way thank you for being with Kailey, the last time she rode her bike and knocked out her front tooth.
Okay I better rap this up Lord, I'll talk to you later.
In Jesus name, Amen

Can anyone tell me? Does anyone hire Americans?

Why is it everywhere I call customer service, after 30 minutes of yelling "CUSTOMER SERVICE" at the automated machine, I get this guy...

He barely speaks or understands English, and he's on my LAST nerve!

Did I mention the biggest factor of all...He's in INDIA!
In India, answering a US problem! Do you not see the problem with this?

Seriously, it's been 2 weeks, will you STOP staring at me?

Think your cute don't you?

Go ahead, ask some-bunny how fun it is to torture me.

~Wordless Wednesday~

Can I grab just one more?

All during our trip, Kailey collected brochures at every stop we made. There was no mistaken we were tourists! Which pains me to say! She had enough paper in her hands to cause a fire hazard. Here's the one she was really intrigued about!

ZORB ball fun.

According to the information Kailey read about it online;
Your allowed to ride with two friends and a bucket of water in this thing, down a hill!
I asked her if this was something she would like to do next time, and she said everything BUT, Hell No!

She said, "I don't care how much fun they make it look like. Or how many good comments they write, I'm not doing that!"

Unfortunately we're back

Well it seems the cabin housekeepers have keys to all the locks. And, seeing how the resort frowns on squatters, we were forced to leave. I knew they would eventually call the police, and a stand off with kids in the house, would have been bad. So we're back!

I know before I left I promised to take lots of pictures. Unfortunately every time I turned around Jason would say,"you can always take pictures later, let's go..", or I wouldn't have it when I needed it. So, needless to say I just didn't follow through on my promise. In my defense I did spend a lot of time with Jacob on my hip and taking pictures with him is impossible. Half way through the weekend he started running a fever and just wanted to be held the whole time. Then there was the time he was puking all over me. Of course you know it wouldn't have been a real vacation without one of the three puking, at some point and time. However somehow I did manage to get a few taken, so the whole weekend wasn't a total loss.

Now for the good stuff picture time...

Gatlinburg , Tn

Here's our luxury cabin we stayed in.
It was so nice! Right in the Great Smoky Mountains.

Oh Crap! Wait a minute No, that's not it. That's on the way to the cabins.

Sorry, You'll have to bare with me. I am so tired! With playing all day everyday and staying up really late every night, It was a little bit exhausting. Of course one night of having the neighbors wake us up at 3 in the morning didn't help either. Although, the fact the that they were charged a $250. fee was pretty well worth it. Then not to mention getting up at 5 this morning!

Okay let's get back on the train of thought, here.

Here's the cabin we really stayed in...


Although not as big or as accommodating as the others we have stayed in here, it was really nice.
When we first got there, Jason wasn't too thrilled with the 22 steps to the door.
Where as I just looked at it as I was going to be able to eat more.

The game room was our favorite part of the house.



We had to make a few alterations for Jacob, but he too enjoyed the fun!



The only bad part about it was Jason & I thought the kids would never go to sleep.




We waited for hours to be alone and enjoy the hot tub on the porch.
Dang it, Which I have No pictures of!!

The girls loved the heated pool, but thought the small private pool on the balcony was way better. The begged and pleated to stay in it the whole weekend. Yet, I don't have one single picture or video of them in it! I guess I was too busy complaining "I SAID, don't splash out all of the water!!"

However I did manage to get a few pictures on the front porch. None of the views, but plenty of the kids. (Man, what's wrong with me?)

Here's the girls...



No they didn't attend a Mardi Gras there!
Luckily it doesn't take much to entertain them.

And

Here's Jake...



And Madisen...



And here's...

What's that? Your bored??

Alright, alright no more pictures I get it!

I've got lots to do anyways, as you can see...



Well I better go too. It's 1:30 and I haven't even picked up the dog from boarding yet!! It was nice of you to stop by though...

Underware, CHECK! Toothbrush, CHECK!

"The weekend just won't be the same without you!..."

Because it's going to ROCK!!!

No cleaning, No tiny little house with children so close I can't breathe, NOPE! We are gone for the weekend! Yeah were only going 45 minutes away, but Destination Relaxation here we come. We are heading out to stay the weekend in a luxury cabin with a hot tub, pool table, video games, porches over looking the mountains, and did I mention it's a luxury cabin?! Home away from the shoe box we call home.

So, adios amigos we are out of here!

I'll be back Monday with lots of pictures.
That is only if locking the doors at checkout and refusing to leave doesn't work!

Darn it, I should have paid more attention to those Dr.Phill episodes!

My girls are both out of school this week for spring break. I had lots of fun planned for the entire week. Although, so far it hasn't gone much as planned. We've had lots of rain and a few places I had planned on taking them turned out to be closed. I can't say this doesn't surprise me, seeing how the first day of spring break started with a real shebang. I should have known it was a sign my week would be doomed.

Last Friday evening~ Out of the blue Kailey with her head tilted, followed with air quotes says, "Mommy when are we going to have THE TALK? You know about how you make babies! Mrs.___ at school was asking the girls in my class if we had it yet, because she wants to show us a movie about it. Most all the other girls have had it, so when will I?"

Clearly I was unprepared for that! She's in 4th grade for God's sakes! I know we live in the south, but isn't this a wee bit early? Or maybe I'm late? I did toss out those child development books after the first year.
Wait a minute come to think of it, I was in like 9th grade before they showed us such a movie. You know, I'm 32 and still haven't had THE TALK , with my mom. Mom's really do talk to their girls about this stuff right?

Why in the world would a teacher leave that food for thought the day before break? Of course prepared or not I sucked it up, swallowed a lump down and leaped right into that cold water. Last thing I wanted for her, was to have what happened to me. She'll start asking questions to her friends and then she may get wrong or too much information. Which I'm sure will eventually happen, but at least I have laid down the ground work.

Now that it's over, I have to say it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. I tried to keep things as simple as I could without giving too much information. Leaving it with, we can talk about this more when your older.

It just seems so weird going from THE TALK , to let's go see the new Hannah Montana movie!

MOMS! Get paid to advertise!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Are you sure you only gave birth to one? Then you better talk to Dad!

What would you think if strangers were telling you, you have a twin? Yes I know they claim everyone has a twin out there. But, what are the chances that they live in the same county you do?
Tell me how you would react?

1994- I moved from AZ back to our home town here in NC. It was the middle of my sophomore year in high school, and I'm standing in the school office registering. The bells rings for classes to change, and kids are scattering through the halls walking by. More than a few kids walking by stopped and waved through the window. My thoughts were, boy their awful friendly here. It wasn't until after starting classes did I learn as to why. You see some girl who apparently looks just like me, had went to that same school. She had moved away just prior to my arrival. Everyone I met told me how much we looked alike and how they thought I was her. During the school year I would constantly get the long stares and the comment of "I just can't get over how much you look like her". At the time it was much of a nuisance to me, so I didn't ask questions about the situation. I do know they said her name was similar to mine and we even dated two of the same guys. Weird right?

Long story short I didn't think much of it all and ended up moving away. In 1996 my husband and I moved back. At that time I was no longer in high school and working as a cashier. That's when it all started again. My brother who knew nothing about it all, claimed he saw her in the local Wal-mart. A few weeks later a guy I worked with came into work mad at me. He was complaining how stuck up I was since I had bought my new car. For one I hadn't bought a new car. I was still driving my same ole red Camero. Funny thing was I had been talking all about how I wanted a newer one. Which was what my look-a-like was driving the day this guy saw her. He claimed he walked right up to her car talking to her, and she rolled up her window and drove off. He wouldn't believe me until I showed him my car sitting in the parking lot. After that he was completely embarrassed and in shock.

Life went on and we moved again. I know, the moving is getting to be ridiculous isn't it? Believe me it's a lot worse when your the one actually moving and not just reading about it!

Anyways, lots of moving and three children later we're in 2009 and living here Yet again!

Can you guess the rest?

Yep, it's happening again!! The other day I'm shopping in K-mart for Easter stuff. Some guy walks right next to me on the hair aisle and keeps going. Continuing to shop I didn't pay it any attention and went on. Standing in line checking out with Jacob, a Pepsi guy comes over and is filling the soda cooler. A little uncomfortable I notice he keeps staring at me, instead of working. Trying to ignore him I stood waiting playing with Jacob. Then it comes. Excuse me? Has anyone ever told you , you have a twin? Yes. He says the same thing as all the others, I just can't get over how much you look like her blah blah blah. He said he walked right by me a few times in the store, just to see if I would notice him. This really creeped me out! He even called her cell phone, while watching me from a distance, to see if I would answer my phone. (No wonder she let this guy go.) According to him she lives in the next town over from me, and is a dead ringer of me.

Now we live in a very small rural area. According to google there's less than 57,000 people in the whole county. What are the chances of us looking so much a like, around the same age, and moving in and out of the same area? I asked my mom if she was sure she only gave birth to one? Her answer was next time you talk to anyone you find out who her mother is!

I have so many questions about it all.
Would I recognize her if I saw her, and would she really look like me? With this just happening again recently it's really got me on high alert. I tend to look and analyze things a whole lot more. Now when someone glances or stares I wonder what they are thinking. If she doesn't have children I bet they wonder, I just saw her 4 months ago, how did she get kids? You know that may explain some confused looks I might see.
How many of my friends has she ignored or offended?
Does she get the same response from people?
Wonder if I'm the good twin or the bad twin?

Wonder? wonder? wonder????

All I know is I have thoroughly explained to my husband, I would never cheat, and if you ever see me out with anyone you better call me!

Fess up Friday

Alright Alright I Confess!!

I really don't have it altogether! I know this may come as a shock to all of you.Yes, I put on a good front. Hair and makeup is always done. I never take the kids anywhere in my sweats. Unless it's the gym. The kids are always dolled up and presentable. I arrive on time anywhere I need to be. I have a little OCD, when it comes to keeping my house clean. Oh you get the point. Well, for all of you who look in envy and strive to be the way I appear. I'll have you know. I have my hormonal freak outs in the mornings with the kids, when the are moving in slow motion. My house isn't always perfect. Drop in on any Sunday afternoon and you'll think the homeless have taken it over. Yeah I may get where I'm going on time. But, I'll have you know it wasn't without ramming through the gears getting out of the driveway, ("So that's what's wrong with the transmission!" Sorry Dear!!) or speeding and weaving through traffic, half taking out grandma in her Cadillac. ("Do you know how much a new transmission would cost us?" Oh Jason, let it go!!) Still not convinced? Alright! Just the other day I took Jacob with me to one of Madisen's school field trips. I was stressed to the gills, from running like a chicken with it's head cut off, cleaning my house before I had to go. All because of my can't leave a dirty house issues, I ran off forgetting my diaper bag. Here I was across town, with no diapers, no wipes, no extra change of clothes and no where near any stores. Unaware, of anything I had forgot I calmly enjoyed the trip. That was until Jacob decided to throw a huge temper tantrum in the middle of a play. Therefore forcing me to cut the trip short and leave. On the way home he fell asleep and somehow I managed to get him in the house without waking up. After he awoke from his nap, I go to change his diaper, and to my surprise he wasn't wearing one!! By the grace of God, luckily he hadn't done anything. Can you imagine what a disaster I could have been in? Now do you see? I've had two other kids before him, I should be doing a little better than this. Don't you think?

So fess up! What's your Confession?

Ha ha April Fools!

"HURRY!! We only have five minutes, grab your favorite toys! We have to leave and were NEVER coming back. Don't just stand there, HELP ME...GO!!!! GRAB everything you can!!..."

*You should have seen the look of panic.*

They were running and grabbing, like were some kind of fugitives.
Their so gullible!