Tuesday, January 27, 2009

We're both going to need therapy after this!

One of my biggest concerns is that my daughter will never master the toilet. We have made it through many phases & stages, but have suddenly come to a halt on any further progression.

Big-girl potty stage
~ We learned after spending many hours in the bathroom that big girls pee-pee in the potty and not in diapers.
(Of course not a tinkle could be made unless we were completely naked.)

Pull-up stages~ We found out with the expensive diapers that we could have a lot better success with easier access. The easy pull apart sides were also nice, for the days when it was a lot less scary to just hide, than poop on the potty. (Thank goodness Sponge Bob calling us finally fixed that.)

Big girl panties phase~ Our panties had to be a certain granny style, and not just any color would do.
(The magical color changed daily, which I could never get right!)

Barbie took a swim phase~
The days when we constantly had to wash our hands and use bottles of Lysol, because it was fun to play in the toilet. I was daily fishing out toys... (In which Barbie had skinny dipping all wrong! She would throw her clothes and shoes in, and just swirl her head around in the water.)

It wasn't me phase~
No one flushed, or cared if it ever got flushed either! Remember The New House Rule? Well we still have issues with that one every other week!

And the one we have been in since the beginning...

How much is too much? phase ~
I've talked and talked until I am blue in the face. Nothing I can say or do can explain to her you don't need that much paper! I've bought the expensive puppy dog T.P that shows you were to stop, and she still does it. It is a constant battle with her. She will go through an entire roll of T.P in one day. Stop wiping, your clean already!! It's not just if she poops either, this is if she just pees. She just wipes and wipes and wipes. The paper is bone dry and she just keeps on wiping. I just don't get it? Everyday its "Mommy the toilets clogged again. Mommy the toilets over flowing!" Well good grief Dear, you can't fill the entire toilet with wadded up paper and expect it to flush! There's times where I can barely get it down with a plunger after five minutes plunging.

After 8 years I'm beginning to loose hope and my mind. I just don't know what to do with her? I need to find a solution fast, because it has come to my attention we may have bigger issues...

We're all sitting eating supper and as usual Madisen starts talking about her day.

"The janitor lady at school is doing an investigation! She will be watching the second/third grade girls bathroom, for the next few weeks. Some girl at school has been filling the toilets with toilet paper and not flushing!!"

(I am seriously Not making this up! That is exactly what she said. She said it so serious and acted as though she just could not believe someone could be so gross and do such a thing.)

I'd like to say I was a good mom and just sat there calmly and said, "Really honey? Wow I hope they catch her."
But, I couldn't ...

(Oh don't judge, you know you were thinking exactly what I was, after you read what she said. There can't possible be another child in the same grade, using the same bathroom, having the same problems!!)

Nope feelings hurt or not, I instantly said "She's looking for you, isn't she?!"
She of course completely denied it, and was just appalled I would even suggest such a thing.

Now I'm terrified every time the phone rings, hoping it's not the school.
I can't imagine how that conversation would go, or the bill that might follow.

You can't flood a school with one toilet can you????


  1. I am so there with you.

    I think you just described MY 8yo.

    But you left out:

    Automatic flush stage: she can no longer use automatic flush toilets unless I'm there to put my hand over the sensor due to being traumatized at the movies after the toilet "sucked her butt."

  2. Have you tried the boxes of flushable wipes? You could tell her: one for #1, two for #2 and no more!!! If she needs to use more, she has to ask. If she goes X amount of time without an issue she gets X prize.

    Just ideas.

    I feel for ya.
    Seems no matter how old our kids are, the potty issue is always with us: little ones and diapers, potty training, hygiene issues, and "PLEASE USE THE AIR FRESHENER FOR GOODNESS SAKES!"

    Good Luck!

  3. You might want to have her checked out. I know of other kids that suffer from the same problem. No matter how much they wipe, they still feel like they need to wipe more. If I remember right it has something to do with the bladder not getting completely empty each time they use the bathroom. Sometimes a few simple changes can help with the problem. Good Luck!

  4. Can CIndrella call or Tinker bell and tell her that she is wasting fairies homes (trees) every time she uses more than said amount of toliet paper??

    I'd do it, if you need someone she doesn't know the voice.

  5. Lol. So glad my tissue problem isn't quite as severe. As long as she leaves no witnesses, everything should be ok.

  6. Hmm, I am in the pull-up stage and based on your comments those expensive diapers are a good thing. But my pockets say something entirely different.

  7. Poor mommy! I think you are going crazy! yes potty training can be nuts also having lots of fun teaching childern that the potty is only to go to the bathroom in it!
    Wishing you lots of luck girl!

  8. At least you started with girls. My 17month old granddaughter keeps following her two older Brothers (3 & 5) into the bathroom raising her shirt and poking her belly button out, thinking that is what she has to do to go pee pee.

    Love the blog and I share it with all my daughters, it's nice for them to know that raising children is full of humor if you look at it from the "right" angle.

  9. Hi I am Muslim (religion Islam) and we wipe with tissue paper and then wash with water. It feels so clean and hygienic that even when we go anywhere we always have an empty bottle that we fill and then wash up. (Kinda like bidet style)You might want to try it out. Oh btw I thoroughly enjoy your blog - When I grow up I want to be like you and I'm already 33 :-o ?


Girls could you PLEASE give our guest some space. Take your brother and go play. Sorry,it's hectic here, what were you saying?"...

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