We're both going to need therapy after this!

One of my biggest concerns is that my daughter will never master the toilet. We have made it through many phases & stages, but have suddenly come to a halt on any further progression.


Big-girl potty stage~ We learned after spending many hours in the bathroom that big girls pee-pee in the potty and not in diapers.
(Of course not a tinkle could be made unless we were completely naked.)

Pull-up stages~ We found out with the expensive diapers that we could have a lot better success with easier access. The easy pull apart sides were also nice, for the days when it was a lot less scary to just hide, than poop on the potty. (Thank goodness Sponge Bob calling us finally fixed that.)

Big girl panties phase~ Our panties had to be a certain granny style, and not just any color would do.
(The magical color changed daily, which I could never get right!)

Barbie took a swim phase~ The days when we constantly had to wash our hands and use bottles of Lysol, because it was fun to play in the toilet. I was daily fishing out toys... (In which Barbie had skinny dipping all wrong! She would throw her clothes and shoes in, and just swirl her head around in the water.)

It wasn't me phase~ No one flushed, or cared if it ever got flushed either! Remember The New House Rule? Well we still have issues with that one every other week!

And the one we have been in since the beginning...

How much is too much? phase ~ I've talked and talked until I am blue in the face. Nothing I can say or do can explain to her you don't need that much paper! I've bought the expensive puppy dog T.P that shows you were to stop, and she still does it. It is a constant battle with her. She will go through an entire roll of T.P in one day. Stop wiping, your clean already!! It's not just if she poops either, this is if she just pees. She just wipes and wipes and wipes. The paper is bone dry and she just keeps on wiping. I just don't get it? Everyday its "Mommy the toilets clogged again. Mommy the toilets over flowing!" Well good grief Dear, you can't fill the entire toilet with wadded up paper and expect it to flush! There's times where I can barely get it down with a plunger after five minutes plunging.

After 8 years I'm beginning to loose hope and my mind. I just don't know what to do with her? I need to find a solution fast, because it has come to my attention we may have bigger issues...

We're all sitting eating supper and as usual Madisen starts talking about her day.

"The janitor lady at school is doing an investigation! She will be watching the second/third grade girls bathroom, for the next few weeks. Some girl at school has been filling the toilets with toilet paper and not flushing!!"

(I am seriously Not making this up! That is exactly what she said. She said it so serious and acted as though she just could not believe someone could be so gross and do such a thing.)

I'd like to say I was a good mom and just sat there calmly and said, "Really honey? Wow I hope they catch her."
But, I couldn't ...

(Oh don't judge, you know you were thinking exactly what I was, after you read what she said. There can't possible be another child in the same grade, using the same bathroom, having the same problems!!)

Nope feelings hurt or not, I instantly said "She's looking for you, isn't she?!"
She of course completely denied it, and was just appalled I would even suggest such a thing.

Now I'm terrified every time the phone rings, hoping it's not the school.
I can't imagine how that conversation would go, or the bill that might follow.

You can't flood a school with one toilet can you????