911 Any suggestions?

HOLY CRAP! Just a minute ago I almost peed myself realized this Sunday is Father's Day! Why hasn't anyone told me? Frantic in disbelief I called my mom to enlighten her on my new found news. Apparently she thinks my oblivious behavior is funny and was going to wait until the night before to tell me. Which, I know would really have been the morning of, after I was already in hot doo-doo for forgetting it for Jason. The kids are now out of school, so no drop hints there of cobbled up Daddy gifts. We all know I can't keep track of the major stuff like Dr. appointments, how much gas is in the car or paying the car insurance. So what made anyone think I'd remember the Ode to Dad's day? Did you think I was supposed to just take a hint from all the Hallmark commercials? I'm a blond, Hello! I could have cut back on groceries, used less toilet paper... something to afford gifts. (even sucky gifts would be something!) Now I'm left with chump change and three men to buy for! Sure, I can stretch a dollar but I can't squeeze the life out of it and make miracles! Oh the words I will eat on Sunday morning. (Last Mother's Day & my birthday ..."you never buy me anything, anymore! ") Now, how am I supposed to make to Jason feel guilty for not spoiling me rotten, when I end up only being able to buy him is a candy bar? "Here you go sweetie, your such a great Dad!" I can just see the look of Love and appreciation that would bring. Not to mention what a fine DIL I'll look like. "Yep, she's a fine one. No special gift in the mail, only a cheap Dollar tree card and it was three days Late! You know that whole three kids excuse just isn't flying with me anymore!" Then there's My own Dad, who will feel like disowning me also. "What the heck, there's a lot of thought...Another package of under shirts, Yippe. I haven't even opened the last Frikin package she bought, Yet! " ( Not that my dad would say Frikin, I don't even think that's in his vocabulary, but it sounded better than 'dag-gone, stinkin'.) So, needless to say unless I start getting some good suggestions on what to do and how to do it, this will be a bad weekend!
Anyone with a sprig of thought send your suggestions to my email. ( First leave a comment here, so I'm aware. That way your not mistaken for spam!) If I use your suggestion I will not only be your new BFF , a comment whore on your blog, but I'll owe you a huge favor back! (Come on have pity Y'all, Pu-leeze) Just please don't leave it in the comments for wondering eyes o-Tay!!! Advanced {{hugs}}! jregish@charter.net

~Desperately awaiting your pity....