Thursday, June 26, 2008

Partying with the strangers I know

For a long time, if the girls met someone new, they referred to them by their appearances. Everything would be you know My friend...

The girl with the pink shirt and brown hair... (never mind that was the first day they ever saw her!)
The short boy with blond hair in fourth grade...
My friend with long red hair who rides the bus...

It drove me crazy!
They never asked names, and could not understand why I would get so bent out of shape. They didn't need to know names! Yet, they would get upset, when I didn't know who they were talking about. I tried many times explaining "Sweetheart, if the girl in the pink shirt changes then how will you know her? She'll no longer be girl in the pink shirt! Next time ask her name!" Still they did not ask names and I could not grasp their comprehension . That was until I walked a day in their shoes. This week I have been planning a surprise party for Kailey's birthday. I sent out invitations to all the kids from her class at school. Now that I am having to interact a little more with some of the moms, I've realized I don't know their names! Before I never thought anything about it, and now that I have to call or talk to them I am tongue tied. Instead of the usual passing by at school of meaningless chit chat, it's a little more intimate. All this time I was unconsciously doing the same thing my girls were. Everything was Oh, So and So's mom. Now how do I address them? Oh Hi, Caleb's mom! How dweebish does that sound? Which has now left me with the fears of following scenarios at the party...

For one, a lot of children these days don't have the same last name as their parents, so there's the fear of saying Mrs.-----, when it's the wrong last name. Now that would be bad! I can just hear it now, "Um... her dad and I were never married", which will lead to a very awkward conversation, we both clearly don't want to get into.

Oh Hi, lady with the four kids and red mini van, how are you?

Yes, snotty woman, with the fake hair and tight jeans, who I've talked to all year. I'm so glad little Johnny could come!

Thank you, Gracie's grandma with the coke bottle glasses, I know Kailey will use this!

Excuse me, woman with red curly hair would you like a piece of cake?

I can forget being able to just ask the girls who they are. I made that mistake one too many times.

Me; "Girls what's her name?"
The Girls; "who?"
Me; " That woman right there, that works in the cafeteria."
The Girls; "Oh that's Mrs. Debbie!"
Me; "Mrs. Debbie!! Excuse me..Mrs. Debbie...(getting closer) Mrs.Debbie?"
Lunch lady; (No answer, not even an acknowledgment)
*Looking at me*
Me; Mrs. Debbie? (why isn't she answering me? Hell-o Yes, talking to you! My wave is an indication.)
Lunch lady; *walks right on by, giving me weird looks, and obviously looking around for Mrs. Debbie*

That's because she WASN'T Mrs. Debbie!!!
Boy did I feel like a fool!

Another...

Me; "Kailey is that your substitute? I need to talk to her what's her name?"
Kailey; "Oh that's Gram-gram!"
Me; "Gram? Like Mrs. Gram? Gram Gram?"
Kailey; "Yes!"
Me; "Excuse me Mrs. Gram?"
Turned out it was some little girls grandma at the school, in which calls her Gram-gram!

Another...

Me; "So, who was she?"
The girls; "Oh she's Miss Sheila's sister!"
Me; "Really? I didn't know they were sisters."
The girls; "Duh mom, they have the same hair color!"


So, you see why I refuse to go that route?

I'm guessing this will be a very interesting party full of new introductions to old acquaintances! That or I'll be out right faking it!!



42 comments:

  1. Incredibly funny! Tonight Elijah asks if he can spend the night at Travis' house. I ask, "Who is Travis". "You know, the kid on my old baseball team.". (That was two years ago). "No, I don't". "Ya, the native Travis". (Like that is going to help). "Oh, the Native Travis we went in the boat with?" "No, that's Native Trevor". (Duh!) "It's the Travis that hit it over the fence when I was pitching". (Oh, of course!). The entire time my 15 year old is begging, "Let him go. Let him go. He is irritating me. It will be okay. Let him go". I let him go. So my son is at Native Travis' house by Justa Store??!!? I do have a number though just incase I want to worry!

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  2. Oh, ya...and I missed Manic Monday, and tackle it Tuesday,and Wordless Wednesday, and Works for Me Wednesday and ABC Wednesday. I have been busy and in massive amounts of uncontrollable pain due to my worthless back! How could I lose so much blog time!!!

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  3. I hate it too when I don't know a mothers name I walk up to them and say Hi Im Megan's mom or Marias mom!
    But with my little frindly girl maria that talk to every one that she knows or just met she knows the name and never forgets and will talk that persons ear off!
    love your blog post!

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  4. Oh my GOSH I'm so glad I'm not the only one with kids who do that! My oldest especially "Mommy, do you still talk to your friend with the purple shirt?" Thankfully THAT one I know but other times I get so confused....

    Course there was the time that she said she wanted to go to the Froggy store. Figuring that out was my greatest parenting moment... EVER.

    Let us know how the party went!!

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  6. Funny post! When my son was born I happily became know as "Will's mom". I even have a cap that says "Will's Mom" to wear to his school events, etc. I tell parents straight up when I meet them that I'll call them "Ashley's mom" or "Caleb's dad" or whatever. Most of them get a chuckle out of it and play along.

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  7. "Hey, how are you" usually works for me. You see, by adding the 'how are' in the middle, you are able to greet everyone with "Hey, you" and not seem rude. Then I would walk around pretending to watch the children and see if I can catch any adult names in conversation.

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  8. Hey there Johnina! Great post, hopefully you will have some newcomers that you will need to memorize and have a test on their names, too ;)

    It is me, Candid Carrie. I am that black and white five year old that keeps showing up in the comment section, talking like a grown up yet hiding behind a child's photograph. Yeah, that's me.

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  9. I hate when I have to talk to someone who I've seen a million times but I don't knwo their name. Those akward moments kill me.

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  10. I am socially awkward anyways I can't imagine what school will be for ME! HAAHAHAHA!

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  11. Good luck! Maybe have a name tag themed party where the kids and grown-ups where name tags so everyone will know who everyone is. It could take some of the wierdness away? Just a thought!

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  12. Ha - funny stuff! I'm Son's mom - and I call all the mom's by their kids anme!! Hope I don't tick anyone off! But there is no way I can remember the kids names (which take forever to learn) and then the momther's!!

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  13. I like the name tag idea. Make it a theme. I am sure you aren't the only one who doesn't know everyones names. You may be helping them out too!

    Or just don't use names. Thats what I do when I don't know/remember.

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  14. even if I had heard their names, there's no guarantee I'd remember it anyways

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  15. I am living this right now. J has a man at work and I have no idea his wife's name even though we've seen her twice and I sat next to her at dinner for an hour. No flippin' idea her name. Which led to a game of Rumplestilskin (sp?). Is it Mary? No, doesn't sound right. Marian? I don't think so. And so the conversation went until we both decided we just won't call her by name.

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  16. I so feel your pain and my lovely sister just reminded me today that I now have 2 teenagers in my house and will have 4 in less then 6 years

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  17. Too funny! It's still the same way now that Jess is in high school summer school. Oh mom, PURPLE GUY is so HOT!

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  18. love your blog.. its sooooo interesting.. dont forget to peak in everyday!!
    -Keyomi

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  19. Hi Johnina,
    I understand what you are going through! My Mom was this way too! She used to go to this Vegetable stand for many many years for Mushrooms (not the kind your are thinking, my Mom called Marijuana joints… knuckles. get it joint… knuckle…lol) So she would tell us that she went to “The Mushroom Man” (I felt like she went to see her drug supplier). I had visions that this man’s head was a big mushroom…lol!

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  20. My blood pressure is rising just thinking about this! Tonight it's the softball moms. I have such an insecure streak when it comes to navigating the ins and outs of such waters. Last thing I want to do is pull up a chair with a couple of moms I don't know and finding out they're best friends talking about stuff I don't have a clue about. At least it's YOUR party so they'll be on your turf.

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  21. We should all just wear "Hello, my name is..." tags to make things easier for people. I'm horrible with names.

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  22. They probably don't know your name either and will be quite glad if you walk up to them and tell them your little problem and ask them their name.

    I, on the other hand, have an opposite story. There was this lady in my church that I knew since I was about 111, when I started going to that church. I knew her and her sister. She was maybe 10 years older than me. When I was old enough we were both singing in the choir and everything. A few years later she got married and had a little girl. When her little was maybe 5 years old this lady who had known my family and I (granted she wasn't my friend, but c'mon!) she called my house one day for something and when I answered she said: Hi Marfa, this is so and so's mom. I wanted to go: Lady, I've known YOU longer than you daughter. It would make more sense for your daughter to call me and say: Hi, I'm so and so's daughter. I don't know, maybe she thought that I, at almost 20, was a playmate of her daughter's. Or maybe she just gave up her own identity, like Clark Kent/Superman, and all of a sudden changed into So and So's Supermom (cape and all).

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  23. Good luck with the name game. Your story was a hoot!

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  24. LOL! You have to love kids. It seems so simple to them. Good luck with all the names. Just smile and be friendly...without names. It will save you some red cheeks. LOL!

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  25. ummm... little mistake in my previous comment up there. I wasn't 111, I was only 11...lol

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  26. oh man, so not what i'm looking forward to when my little boys go to school. though it's kind of funny. b.c us as kids probably did the samething

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  27. I must admit I am probably just as bad as your daughters!

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  28. My kid goes to camp with a girl for 8 weeks, 5 days a week... and never could tell me her name.

    Yet, she remembers what she ate on a plane when she was 2 1/2 with dad.

    If only she were a cannibal, she would eat them , then remember them

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  29. This was hilarious! I have the same problem with names, and it is so awkward!

    Do all these mommies at the birthday party know each other? If not, what about cool name tags (although that could be tacky - but the kids can design them)!

    Love your blog!

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  30. I do that ALL the time. At work it is funny. I know the kids names not the parents. So I call them so-n-so's mommy!

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  31. Just tell them you are really bad at names and reintroduce yourself. They will probably be so relieved because they can't remember your name either.

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  32. LOL, I can relate to that too! I just wanted to leave a comment and let you know that I have been reading your blog daily now for the past few weeks and I just love it! I always look forward to your posts, stories and just love your sense of humour! Keep up the great work!

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  33. It was a amazing experience to visit this website and read the articles and contents. http://www.saadepunjab.com

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  34. Hi sweetie, I am here with Carrie. Even though I visit you every day I felt like making the trip with her group. Great blog as usual. I am now so and so's grandma. Not to be mistaken with so and so's Mom. But I love it.

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  35. Excuse me, Johnina.

    Can you please point me to the erm... little girl's room?

    Carrie said there'd be one at the petrol station, but I think their guard dog ate the key.
    ~And the last person to use it...

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  36. Love your blog. I'm living vicariously through you until I get to be a mommy. (And learning things for future reference, especially that humor will get you a long way!)

    I like the name tag idea too, if you have a stack ready with fill-in-the-blanks. "Hello, I'm ____, Mom of ____"

    After this one get-together when you have a chance to relearn the names, you could try the technique my Dad used on me in high school. He would always connect a person with a story. So when I would come in and tell him about Monica he would say “Oh, the french fry thief?” Yeah Dad, her. Guess what happened to her today? There was also Dirtbike Ryan and Crying Christine, where he would just make crying sounds when I mentioned her ‘cause she got in a fender bender right outside his workplace and I had him check on her.

    You could do the same thing, just connect attributes or activities like Tight-pants Tiffany, and Always-Volunteers Amanda (notice the alliteration, optional) to help you remember. It might work better than just connecting Mom names to kid names, because it gives each person a specific trait you can use as a memory jogger. Way better than So-n-So’s Mom, because they’re all Moms, for goodness sake!

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  37. hahaha.
    this made me smile.
    but reallly..
    you should just be upfront about it and go with it.
    i highly doubt that they will become hostile if you just say "hey! you know we've been talking all the time and i don't even know your name!"

    but yeah..i know how you feel, im horrid at remembering names.

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  38. I love it! This so funny :-) I am known now as Peyton's Mommy by all of his friends which cracks me up. I told one of them my name was Melissa the other day and she said, not it isn't...it is Peyton's Mommy!

    Melissa
    peytonsmamasita.blogspot.com
    mjenningsdesigns.blogspot.com

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  39. you know from one elementary mom to another... THEY ARE ALL THINKING THE SAME THING! you are known as that girl's mom, or better yet the blogger mom. just laugh a little and tell them with all the school stuff you never caught their full name. or ask the teacher they know everything! :)

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  40. Oh my gosh! Johnina, I have SO missed your blog while I was offline! A couple times when I was on the phone with my best friend, I'd send her over here to read your blog to me. I'm so glad to be back online so I can read it every day myself! LOL

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  41. There is nothing wrong with name tags at the birthday party!

    ~Jacob's Mom

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  42. Haha, I like the nametag idea. You could also try just making a joke of it...chances are you are not the only one who doesn't know names.

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Girls could you PLEASE give our guest some space. Take your brother and go play. Sorry,it's hectic here, what were you saying?"...

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