Celebrating with Rats

Today I have Chuck E Cheese anniversary party reservations for five. Well, No not really but it might as well be. It's our 12 year wedding anniversary, and Jason and I will be toting along all three kids for our celebration dinner. Not that we weren't given the opportunity to go out solo, or even considering the fact we haven't gone alone since February. (As temping as it sounds) We just know there is no way we can sit and enjoy food at our favorite restaurant, knowing they would give anything to go themselves. The Japanese fire tricks just wouldn't be the same without their little face lighting up.

Did I mention this is our 12 year anniversary! Seeing how we moved in with one another two weeks after we met,we've actually been living together 14 years. Yet,anniversary number wise, I guess those two years just don't count. I'm sure by now my mom has given up hope that I will be moving back in. Besides, I'm sure bringing back a husband and three kids, wasn't exactly what she was crying for. I knew that day and the day I got married he was Mr. right. Even the huge fight at my reception with my brothers over shaving cream, didn't change my mind. So, here we are 12 years (+2), three kids and a cat later, still giddy over one another. Who'd a thunk it?
All I know is I need to keep all of this on the back burner of my mind. That is until the day one of my girls shows up with a boy (that she had claimed was Only a friend, that I've barely met), and says she's in love and she moving out. FYI~ No matter what they say, Friends don't ask to leave a dozen roses on their bed while their at school!

A stand in for Romeo

It all started back in first grade when Kailey met Tom. He stole her heart over a game of tag, and from then on she has been whole heartily dedicated to him. He has bought her many gifts through the years and been the center of all her future dreams. Even when he moved to another school last year they have kept in touch. They only get to talk about once every six months. (He's the one who took her rafting for her birthday) It's very sad considering they only live about 2 miles a part. ( Long story but a divorce and witch of a mother is the cause for that!) Each one is just as dedicated as the other. All along I thought wow, Jason and I must be great role models in this area.
That was until today!
New school, new boys and suddenly we have a new perspective on the (Do you want to be my girlfriend? circle Yes or No.) dating scene.
Jumping off the bus she was telling me all about this boy who has a crush on her. How cute he is, how him and his friend were whispering about her, yada yada, he wants to be her boyfriend.What is she supposed to tell him about Tom? Talking away without pause, she resulted in her own conclusion.
"I think it's just good to keep my options open, I think I'll keep him as a substitute back up."
Yes, I too was surprised by that comment. Hmm... Now that she definitely didn't get out of mommy and daddy's marriage! (And she certainly doesn't know about the days when I was a double dater!) Guess, that whole BS about I'm her biggest role model really is a load of crap. Or, Maybe it's just in the genes?
Either way, Oh my what I have to look forward to!

Cruel and unusual punishment? You decide...

"Daddy are you serious?"

We are now going on day 7, of the girls believing our cat has a twin. At first they were skeptical as they rolled their eyes and listened in disbelief.

Two cats?
Could it be?
An identical twin which appears out of no where?
No way!

You see we supposedly purchased a twin set of cats instead of one. Cats go off and hide for hours to take a break, so we needed two. This way when one was hiding, the other could come out and take his place to play. The switch secretly happens when no one is looking.

That's why the cat wouldn't answer to Max when you would call it. (It had nothing to do with the fact that, it would never have babies and you refused to believe it was a boy, calling it 'Maxie'.)

The extra twin is very easy to distinguish when they bring it to be identified. You see, he is the calm one. He's friendly, doesn't scratch and appears to be just awakened. As each day passes they are more and more convinced the other twin really does exist. Every once in a while one will come running claiming they saw the other. " It had to be him, Max was just over there!"

Pretty soon they will either wise up or I will have to reveal the truth about Daddy's Myth. Until then the mystery claim is still unproven!

Crack addict Daddy?

An eyebrow raising conversation at the dinner table~
Madisen: "Daddy is that a line of crack?!!"

Very confused, she was a little upset with all our laughter.


Ps: Yes, I am in desperate need of new dishes. Any charity lovers out there feel free to donate at any time. Consider this as me standing here with my card board sign begging!

Lost in translation

I know what your thinking I've been gone long enough, right? Well, today the girls finally went back to school! So I guess it's time I stop ditching the house work and blogging, seeing how now I have no excuses. Besides laying out by a pool watching my imaginary children would just be plain weird. I just have to face it, play time is over and it's time to go back to our normal routine. Which I have to say was a hard pill to swallow, when the alarm was going off, at the the butt crack of dawn this morning! I don't know if it was all the anxiety about the girls going to school , the full moon or what , but I got No sleep. I tossed and turned all night going over everything in my head. What all I need to do, should have done, or didn't get to do rassled through my brain over and over. I think this morning I was more nervous then they were, about their new school. I gave them more instructions then they can comprehend in a month. The basic who, what, when and where's...

Who they should and shouldn't talk to.

What they should and shouldn't do, say, or act like.

When they should, shouldn't, can and can't.

And

Where they should, shouldn't, can and can't.....

By the time we were in the car, any and all fears they may have had about school quickly disappeared. They both agreed they knew exactly where to go and tried to convince me my assistance getting them to their classes, was unnecessary. After lots of questioning them about their fears from the night before, when visiting their classes, they announced I would be embarrassing. Embarrassing? What? So that's how it's gonna be, huh? Reluctant they let me walk them in regardless. Well, not really it was more like they let me follow them in. I toted Jacob as they ran off down the hall and left me in their dust trail. Once I caught up to them, I didn't see a single forth or second grader noticed me, but I kept all hugs and kisses to a minimum. You know not to Embarrass anyone or anything! It was clear when their was no eye contact and a shoulder shrug that it was my time to go.

So now I am left with a less quieter house, with plenty to do and no idea where to begin. Here I spent days waiting for this moment and here I sit like a lost puppy. A rejected lost puppy that is!

Time Traveling to see the Guineas

Pencils down voting is now officially closed. Looks the the majority picked C, so everyone sign a Risk release form and let's get going. I will not be responsible for anyone stuck in the past, so please stay with group. Please remove all hats, sunglasses and loose objects before entering the time capsule. (Teresa that includes the tiara. Give it to Kailey to hold and Mrs. Joos I love ya but there is no eating on the capsule so leave your apples.) Now, if you are all ready please watch your step and cram in to make room for everyone.
*Overhead announcement*
Just a little tweak here and we will be on our way. Please Fasten your safety belts and listen to my lovely volunteer assistant. Since all doors are officially sealed and locked Outnumbered221 would you do me the honor of explaining the following Note I have left for you:
:"Please remain calm but, there are No emergency escape exits and we have limited air."
Ps; Don't panic at this point their belts are locked

Great job Outnumbered221, only next time lets please keep the hand gestures to a minimum. This is a G rated blog you know!

Hang on tight here we goooooo..... 2008,>>>>2007>>>>2006>>>>

"Would you like to add an order of cinnamon twists with your order?"

Oh crap everyone remain seated we went too far, let me try again.

<<<<1997<<<1999<<<2000<<<2005!>

Here we are, where it all started Super Pets. There we are all peeking in the cages at the guinea pigs of all shapes, colors and sizes. The girls are bickering back and forth over which pig they are going to get, who's going to name it, and who's going to hold it first. This is where Jason and I realized exactly what we were purchasing, (a daily headache) and decided to let them each pick out a fur ball. See the sign Each one a whopping $25 bucks a pop! ($50 + 2 cages , food for 2 ect.. That would buy a lot of Tylenol!) This is where some geeky store dude comes to tell us about the store guarantee they are all females, we figured problem solved. So we grabbed a cage and all the other expensive must have goodies and headed to the cash register. Now,Did you see it? That was where Jason and I exchanged the look of ' Holy crap are you kidding me!' ,as that young cashier barely able to make change made our day. Seems for whatever reason she decided to charge us for mice instead of guineas, giving us $50. guineas for $3.00! Should I have opened my mouth and said something? Probably. Did I? Heck no, were talking a $47 discount.You saw me, I put all my merchandise on the counter, cashier rang it up, and I paid the total she gave me. That by all means is Not stealing. It's not my fault they decided to hire ignorant help. Besides how many times have you gotten home looked at your ticket and realized you were overcharged? I have countless times! Did I go back and make a big Ta-do over it , NO! So, the way I justify it, it's Carma.

All was fine and dandy until Carma decided to bite us in the butt! 6 months later ...Come on...
(Now everyone make room and gather around the cage. Please overlook the mess, these guineas are messy. By the way Don't pet the dog. He gets nervous around strangers and pees.)

Here they are are Brownie & Harriet. Harriet is the white one with brown spot with the hair that touches the ground. Brownie is the short haired black and brown one. Aren't they cute? Now everybody watch and listen carefully. It's a Sunday afternoon Jason's on the computer next to the cage. (hands off ladies!) the girls are playing with the guineas and I'm in the other room.
Jason; "I think somethings wrong with Harriet?"
Me; running in, "What do you mean? What's wrong with her?"
Jason: "She hasn't been moving at all. I think she has a tumor or something on her side."
*We're all poking and prodding her*
Me; " The vet is closed, I'll call the store maybe they will know?"

(This is where I start pacing through the house, you'll have to follow to hear me)

Store: "Do you think maybe your Guinea is pregnant?"
Me; "It can't be I bought them at your store and they are supposed to be all females."
Store: "Oh, well then, Yes they are, maybe you should check...."

*Screaming* Jason and the girls: Harriet's Having Babies!!!!!!!!!
(if you have a weak stomach this would be the time you should look away!)

Me; "Never mind my question has been answered! You don't sell ALL females!!"

A few days later...
(Lean in close and I will explain, why it looks like I am Sexually harassing this poor guinea)
You see I was professionally advised that Ozzy AKA Brownie, would find Harriet one sexy pig now that she has given birth. If I didn't want him knocking her up again right away or inbreeding any of his daughters, he and any boys needed to be seperated.
So, That is why you see me in front of the computer, taking each squealing pig and examining their privates.
Why do I keep groping them over and over and looking, you ask?

Well, it's not as easy as it sounds. The picture on the computer is very hard to comprehend on a young pig. Yes, I see the donut or the V on the computer! Look, push back the fur what do you see? Seriously! This is no laughing matter. There's 5 guineas to get through and time is ticking. Look, See! Not so easy is it? Even if there is a V, you have to push down and see if anything pokes out or not. I told you it was more complicated than it looks!

Okay people this goes on for hours and we need to get back!

Take one last peek and the guinea pee pee's and we need to go.

>>>>>>>>>>2008

Hope you've enjoyed your time travel, hope you can join any future adventures.

Because I said No! Can't we just leave it at that?

This out of all things is what Kailey picks up and brings me, in Wal-Mart today. Only what she picked up and brought had a huge picture on the front. "Mommy can we get these!? Why Not? What are they for?" Aisle full of customers, waiting to hear my explanation. That was one time I resisted just grabbing it out of her hands, and putting it back myself. Last thing I want is someone I know, to turn down the aisle and see me hold it. Then you get that look of ; sure your little girl did that, wonder what she needs those for? I guess at least she asked and didn't just throw them in the buggy, when my head was turned as usual. Imagine what a surprised look I would have had, once I got to the checkout counter if she hadn't. Then I would have been panicked as to who saw them riding through the entire store in MY buggy and what they might have thought. I'm telling you the kids, I swear...

*Before I go I have a few announcements ;
A shout out of love to one of my readers Alicia Thank You for the Award !And the three I pass it along to are...

Outnumber2To1

AppleJoos

Big Rawks

Reminders;

Tomorrow is Tuesday's Summer tips. Keep them coming!

We are still overly busy with Summer. With that note a warning my posts may be like that of a womans period, Irregular but short and sweet.

Friday Fill-Ins

1. If I could be a fly on the wall I would follow my husband to work and watch him in his tool belt all day!

2. Jealousy is the number 1 reason I could go postal, when it comes to my husband .

3. When I see a shooting star my wish would be that a billionaire would take pity on our family and make us rich .

4. I'd rather be Ramon noodle poor in love than rich, unloved & miserable any day!

5. Certain songs when I hear them make me feel 18 and wild again!

6. If time were in a bottle I'd buy it buy the truckloads.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to Not cooking!, tomorrow my plans include preparing for bible school & pulling my hair out and Sunday, I want to leave for a relaxing getaway but I'll be at church instead!


Participate in Friday Fill-Ins!

Desperatly Tanning

Yesterday a moment of my day was like a scene out of some desperate housewives movie. Here I was laying out in my bikini all soaked down in tanning oil, trying desperately to get a tan. Turning my head to the side I opened my eyes and...

{This would be where I insert the screech of a stopped record}

reality smacks me right in the face! I see the baby monitor to the sleeping baby in the house, the sides of the trampoline I'm laying on, and then the silence is broken. Kailey sits up right next to me in her little sports bra and shorts and says "Let's pretend this is the beach!" So there we laid chit chatting it up spending time together doing Big Girl stuff.

You know I remember the days when I could jump in my convertible Camaro at a moments notice, and lay carefree at the tanning bed. Relaxing in peace and quiet slowly drifting of to a quick nap. No baby to awake and cut my time short. No one there poking my skin to see if I'm tanning or not. Nothing but time to relax!(sigh)

Even though Motherhood changed my life so drastically, I have to say chasing off the spiders and keeping secrets is a whole lot better!

Here we are~

Bikini Girls

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Tuesday's Summer Tips

With summer here All the kids are out of school, leaving us with that burning question; What do we do? I thought it would be fun to take a day where everyone could share their Tips & Advice for Summer. So...
What inventive ideas are you coming up with to keep them busy?
(crafts, games, places to go, things to do!)
Now that everyone is out of their element with the kids home and not at school what tricks are you using to keep them in line?
Any advice to all of us mother's?
Even if you don't have kids you too can share ideas too! Some of us have Mother's we need to keep busy. hint hint , wink wink...Also, I know Some have kids going to camp, sleep overs, so we do need adult activities or vacations thrown in too! Have a great get away? (I promise I won't show up dragging the kids and bother you in your secret spot!)

If you'd like to join in and add a post, which will also drive up your traffic on Tuesdays. Comment, Post on your site with a link back & send me the link! I'll post your link, below my post and everyone passing through can click your link to share Summer Tips & Advice!
Thank you to all those who participated last week!

Clearly too young for this Toy!

No matter how bored they are, Do not let them play with old cell phones (with No service)! If you do this might happen to you...
Officer:"911 what's your Emergency?"
Me: "Yes, I'm really sorry but my two girls were playing with an old cell phone. They just brought it to me scared saying the call actually went through. I really apologize I had no idea it would do that."
Officer:" Yes, they actually called three times! Even with no service the phone will still call 911. I am going to need all your information to make out a full report."

Send your links to jregish@charter.net!

To hear more Summer Tips & Advice click on the links below~


Outnumbered 2 to 1~Licking Elephant Ears!
Nana's Needle Nook~ Menu please
Tsosie & Peterson Bunch~Something that will last way past summer!
Who say's 8 is Enough?~ Most Important!!
Lisa-Whathaveidone ~Beach Bums

Future Discussions

16 Years from now...

"Mom why is my hair so greasy? Nothing seems to help."

"Well Jake it's seems it all goes back to when you were 14 months old. I drastically underestimated your speed and slyness. You see within minutes of the dead silence that fell upon the house, I ran frantically looking for you. To find you slathering yourself with handfuls of Vaseline you somehow managed to discover. Here you were with your hair caked in it, rubbing it all over your arms.What a disastrous mess that was!"

(Here I thought I had his entire room childproof! Seems he must have been eying that large jar of Vaseline, I forgot in his changing table. )

Reminder Tomorrow is Tuesday's Summer Tips! All those interested in participating send me your links jregish@charter.net

Choose Wisely

All I can say is choose your words wisely, when you are parenting your children. Young children have a way of soaking them up in their brain, and using them against you when you least expect it.
After nights of the relentless chore of trying to keep the girls in the bed at bedtime, we decided to limit evening sugar. Desert after supper was keep to a minimum and in the evening hours it was cut out completely. When they would come running begging for ice cream or candy at 7:30pm, the answer was always the same. "No it has sugar and... it will make you wild in the bed". Which eventually became our funny family household saying when they came asking. Funny that was until it some how ventured it's way to be used outside the household. Here we were late one evening at a church gathering, fellowshipping with finger foods. Talking amongst a bunch of others, I started to eat something sweet. Next thing I know, Madisen blurts out real loud, "Daddy!! Is Mommy gonna be wild in the bed tonight?" I'm sure I turned four shades of red, trying to explain her statement. Leave it to little Mrs. Innocent to say something at just the right moment. So, again speaking from experience Choose wisely.

For all those wondering, Barbie (and her friends) were safely released today. In need of some clothes and a good hair brushing, but returned all in one piece. Seems those that were scared for her life were very willing to immediately cooperate. They over compensated with many shocking loving gestures toward one another. The demands were unexpectedly carried out within minutes, yet nothing was returned till the hours were met. They were very much relieved once they saw just exactly what they would have been donating to the less fortunate, had this gone bad. The needed adjustment has been my breath of fresh air. At this point I do not see these events reoccurring in the near future. A big Thank you goes out to all those who were concerned for Barbie's safety!

The Ransom Note

Dear Little girls,

Can't find your missing toys? Look no further for it's probably gone! Because my threats of sending you to summer school have failed. I have taken hostage a sack full of miscellaneous toys. It may contain some of your prized possessions or ones you don't even miss. Not to worry I will take good care of them as long as you cooperate. You must comply with the following demands or you will never see your little pretties again. I want all fighting and bickering to stop! No more yelling and tattling about who has or done what. I don't want to see battle scars and evidence to plead your case. I will not let it ruin our summer with loosing privileges and fun. So, stopping the whinnying and stomping is a must! Until then you can sit and think of poor Barbie and a few other Bratz somewhere in the middle of the bag, desperately praying to avoid the trash. Now, you have 24 hrs. to do a complete attitude overhaul or your precious little Barbie's coming back in pieces. The rest of the toys will be dumped at the local salvation army, to good little children with no toys. You just thought you couldn't share. Think what fun those kids will have playing with your toys!

Love, Mom

Local Headlines

Here's A clip from our Local newspaper

July7,2008

Man found Bludgeoned to death in Local Wal-Mart

Fourth of July weekend a Wal-Mart shopper saw his own fireworks show, up close and personal. A Box boy found the man lying in the toy aisle around noon and called for help. The man was pronounced DOA when officers and Emergency services arrived on the scene. Reports indicated the man was beaten to death with a Barbie box. Investigators said All cable ties to the Barbie and accessories where no longer intact, which proved the excessive force used during the beating. After further investigation surveillance tapes relieved a blond woman in her early thirties with three small children, committed the crime. On lookers of the tapes said they have never seen such excessive violence take place so quickly. "One minute she was shopping and the next she was beating this man like a rabid mad animal. She had this look in her eyes, and I believe she was even foaming at the mouth." The man twice her size was knocked on the ground without warning. He tried to shield his face from the blows, but was deemed defenseless as she continued beating him relentless. Once the man stopped moving she gathered herself, ran him over with her cart and nonchalantly went on about her shopping. This Mother of three's name has not been released. She was eventually tracked down and taken into custody, but later released. No charges have been filed, due to the aggravated assault and attempted kidnapping the dead man was charged with. It seems the Mother like a agitated Bear was only protecting her cub, when the man grabbed her daughters arm. Law enforcement plan to use the tapes as a warning to other pedophiles in the area. It will be mandatory shown prior to any pedophiles release. What can happen when Mothers take the law into their own hands. As a result to the incident area Wal-marts in support, are considering changing their theme motto's to "Where you can Roll back your sleeves to make shopping a pleasure". (Con't on pg.18)

Okay You caught me, It's all a fake. No, I really didn't make the local headlines. But, I would have had that man not released my child's arm when he did! It's sad to know your not even safe to shop in Wal-mart!

*Reminder*
Tomorrows Tuesday's Summer Tips
All participants send your links to jregish@charter.net

911 Gossip

By now phones all over the county have been ringing off the hook, spreading the word. Mother's are warning their children. Children are working their little fingers to nubs texting about IT. I'm sure the little girl this happened to will need extensive mental counseling. I'm sure her mother was up with her all night with nightmares, the poor thing. I just can't imagine what she is thinking or going through. My thoughts and prayers go out to her!

Previous events from yesterday;

Kailey's little boyfriends family took her whitewater rafting, for her birthday. (like her mom, she has good taste in men!) Despite every reluctant bone in my body, I ignored all the fears and allowed her to go. Scared and literally worried sick I patiently waited to hear from her.

6 long hours later the phone rings...
Me: "hello!!!!"
Kailey: "hi!"
Me:" Oh thank goodness you called sweetie! I have been so worried about you! So are you having fun?"
Kailey: "Uh-huh"
Me: "You didn't fall off the boat did you?"
Kailey: " Uh, No!"
Me: "Oh I'm so glad, I can't tell you how worried I have been! Did you already eat lunch?"
Kailey: " Umm....yeah"
Me: (She sounded like something was bad wrong, Now I'm really worried)"Are you sure your having fun?"
Kailey: "Uh-huh"
Me: "What's the matter? The water didn't scare you did it? Is Tom okay? What's the matter?"
Kailey: "Is Kailey home?"
Me: " Um- what? Who is this?"
Kailey Emily: "This is Emily is Kailey home?"
(OH-CRAP!)
Me: (Trying everything to explain myself) "I thought you sounded different! I figured it was just the phone. I am so sorry Kailey's ...."

Poor girl I bet she'll never call back again, nor will Any of her friends for that matter!

As for me I'll be ordering my rubber room now.
(Birdie's flying around my head " coo-coo coo-coo" )

Hey Hey where's the Monkeys?

Never in my wildest dreams, would I have thought I would be shopping for a crib, a year after Jacob was born. I know what you’re thinking. No, I haven’t had him sleeping in a drawer all this time. He actually has a very nice Jardine Cherry crib in his room, which took us hours to assemble. Then why shopping for a new crib you ask? Well he certainly didn’t chew his way through the wooden slats, although he has tried. No it seems the security commission has issued a recall due to many recent injuries, which could lead to death. The wooden slats are supposedly able to come loose, trapping the children. I myself have tried to budge them and feel they are very sturdy. Unless you have an incredible hulk baby, I don’t see them moving. Regardless of my opinion after my efforts to destroy it, I will abide to the recall. Never mind how reluctant I feel, considering it took me weeks to motivate Jason into putting the first one together. What gets me is this...

This is the pouch that came attached to the original packaging, of the one we have now. If you look very closely on the bottom it clearly reads in all capitol letters; THIS CRIB CONFORMS TO APPLICABLE REGULATIONS PROMULGATED BY THE CONSUMER PRODUCTS SAFETY COMMISSION.

Now I ask you who gave out the recall? Say it with me… The Consumer Product safety commission!

Are you keeping up with me?

Now who is listed for the inspection of applicable regulations? Let's repeat...The Product Safety Commission! Very good, now do you see where I’m going with this?

How in the world did it ever pass inspection, or meet the standards to obtain this important statement.

Did the safety commission not feel the sturdiness of the slats, an important part of the check list or regulations?

Our country does all kinds of animal testing these days. Monkeys have been sent to space, they use them for testing all kinds of diseases and medicine. Heck all you hear about is how smart they are and claim they have all this human intelligence, and are the closest animal to our race. Yet, you’re telling me they can’t even put a freakin monkey in a baby crib, and see how durable it is. Where is the logic there?
I’m sure if they would use the studies of a 75lb raging ape in it, they could be certain it would hold up to a little shaking from a toddler.

So now, because of all their monkeying around over there at the Product security commission, I have to get a new crib. That is wait for a voucher to come in the mail, and hope it's enough to purchase one similar to the one we have.

If I'm lucky...

1. Nothing they have will match our set.

2. I'll have to pay more money to get one that does match.

3.The new crib will sit in a box waiting to be assembled, like the old one.

4.By the time everything is bought and set up Jacob will be ready for a toddler bed!

I guess at least I was lucky, I saw the one time, 3 minute, recall announcement about it on TV.

Partying with the strangers I know

For a long time, if the girls met someone new, they referred to them by their appearances. Everything would be you know My friend...

The girl with the pink shirt and brown hair... (never mind that was the first day they ever saw her!)
The short boy with blond hair in fourth grade...
My friend with long red hair who rides the bus...

It drove me crazy! They never asked names, and could not understand why I would get so bent out of shape. They didn't need to know names! Yet, they would get upset, when I didn't know who they were talking about. I tried many times explaining "Sweetheart, if the girl in the pink shirt changes then how will you know her? She'll no longer be girl in the pink shirt! Next time ask her name!" Still they did not ask names and I could not grasp their comprehension . That was until I walked a day in their shoes. This week I have been planning a surprise party for Kailey's birthday. I sent out invitations to all the kids from her class at school. Now that I am having to interact a little more with some of the moms, I've realized I don't know their names! Before I never thought anything about it, and now that I have to call or talk to them I am tongue tied. Instead of the usual passing by at school of meaningless chit chat, it's a little more intimate. All this time I was unconsciously doing the same thing my girls were. Everything was Oh, So and So's mom. Now how do I address them? Oh Hi, Caleb's mom! How dweebish does that sound? Which has now left me with the fears of following scenarios at the party...

For one, a lot of children these days don't have the same last name as their parents, so there's the fear of saying Mrs.-----, when it's the wrong last name. Now that would be bad! I can just hear it now, "Um... her dad and I were never married", which will lead to a very awkward conversation, we both clearly don't want to get into.

Oh Hi, lady with the four kids and red mini van, how are you?

Yes, snotty woman, with the fake hair and tight jeans, who I've talked to all year. I'm so glad little Johnny could come!

Thank you, Gracie's grandma with the coke bottle glasses, I know Kailey will use this!

Excuse me, woman with red curly hair would you like a piece of cake?

I can forget being able to just ask the girls who they are. I made that mistake one too many times.

Me; "Girls what's her name?"
The Girls; "who?"
Me; " That woman right there, that works in the cafeteria."
The Girls; "Oh that's Mrs. Debbie!"
Me; "Mrs. Debbie!! Excuse me..Mrs. Debbie...(getting closer) Mrs.Debbie?"
Lunch lady; (No answer, not even an acknowledgment)
*Looking at me*
Me; Mrs. Debbie? (why isn't she answering me? Hell-o Yes, talking to you! My wave is an indication.)
Lunch lady; *walks right on by, giving me weird looks, and obviously looking around for Mrs. Debbie*

That's because she WASN'T Mrs. Debbie!!!
Boy did I feel like a fool!

Another...

Me; "Kailey is that your substitute? I need to talk to her what's her name?"
Kailey; "Oh that's Gram-gram!"
Me; "Gram? Like Mrs. Gram? Gram Gram?"
Kailey; "Yes!"
Me; "Excuse me Mrs. Gram?"
Turned out it was some little girls grandma at the school, in which calls her Gram-gram!

Another...

Me; "So, who was she?"
The girls; "Oh she's Miss Sheila's sister!"
Me; "Really? I didn't know they were sisters."
The girls; "Duh mom, they have the same hair color!"


So, you see why I refuse to go that route?

I'm guessing this will be a very interesting party full of new introductions to old acquaintances! That or I'll be out right faking it!!

And the Public school system said Kailey was the problem!

The love letter

In our little town we live in, phone service providers are very limited. In fact for the longest we only had one option which was the Bellsouth phone co.. It was like being shackled to them, with their uncompetitive rates , and once given another choice it was a breath of fresh air. Without a second thought we immediately signed on to a lower bill, with many extras. (including free long distance!) Once we made the switch over, there was no regret and absolutely no want to ever go back. No matter how many times they called begging everyday at 9pm, the answer was indefinably the same. So, long forgotten we went on about our lives, knowing they could never again invade our happy little home with their excessive billing.
First off let me say I am madly in love with my husband of 12 years. Never in my mind have I ever thought he could actually cheat or leave me. Although I love to tease him about it all the time.
(*wink-wink* right sweetie? He hates it!) Besides, I know he would never want to be the victim of a Lorena Bobbit copy cat.
Being a woman I can get a tad bit jealous at just the thought. (alright, alright Jason, I'm telling them..) I mean I can get Extremely jealous at times. Take for instance just the comments here. There's been moments I'd like to tear through the computer and rip out some hair. With that being said, let me tell you what happened.
Going through the mail I came across a letter addressed to Jason (clearly written by a woman!) with no return address. Trust or no trust that warranted me to rip it open in mad woman speed!
Inside was a hallmark looking love card which read;
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I really miss us being together,
How about you?... I'm sure you can imagine the smoke which was coming out of my head, at the wheels turning by this moment. Furious, heart pounding, I continued on through this poem of missing you, until I got to the very bottom where it was signed Bellsouth! So, not only do they try to rape you on charges, but they are potential home wreckers too!
The funny part was after I got over my initial shock, I used it that evening to aggravate Jason. Needless to say he was about as amused as I was. I can say it's made me a little less quick to jump to conclusions. Thank you Bellsouth for your valuable lesson.


Remember tomorrow's Tuesday, if you'd like to participate in Summer Tips,Tricks & Advice Tuesday, please email me your links to; jregish@charter.

The Experiment

Good morning!

The Experiment

For best results follow all directions first thing in the morning.
Materials;
Just yourself and some coffee

Directions;
1. Get down in the floor and do push-ups until your arms are burning (1-100+)Depending on your physical endurance.
( At this point your arms should feel like spaghetti noodles and it should hurt to pick anything up.If not go back and repeat step 1)
2.Spin around the room like a five year old, until you can no longer focus and you have that stumbling drunk walk. Then grab your coffee and come back...
3. You should now have coffee spilled all over you and the floor, and be repeatedly blinking trying to focus to read this.
Now, close your eyes and imagine you have been up all night with a cranky baby, who refused to sleep more than a consecutive hour.

Results: This is how I feel this morning!

Now, I will leave with your agenda for the day. Have a nice day!

I should have just stayed in bed!

Yesterday...

8:30 am *FLu - sh* "MOMMY!!, somethings wrong with the toilet!" What the...? We have No water! (That was until 3:00 pm!) Hmmm....I didn't seem to get that MEMO from the town! By God you owe them a dime and they'll hand deliver a bill by that afternoon, and yet can't even give a little warning about a water outage! Nothing like a little warning people!

9:00 am (What I was thinking) That's weird, No email? Yesterday evening there was no mail and none this morning. Just that same old unopened spam letter on top! Is my email connection out too? Usually, it's flooded with mail. 10:00 am Ah- dur I felt stupid when I realized I wasn't looking at my Inbox , it was the Deleted Folder! Someone , I'm not naming names! (JASON!!) While looking through the trash folder (Why, I don't know?) left the mailbox on deleted items, And had also turned off the sound!

5:30pm Just before sitting down to eat...

Jason: "Did you go up to the garden today?"
Me: "Yeah that's where I got the lettuce for tonight."
Jason: *Laughing hysterically*
Me: "What's so funny?"
Jason: "Tell me you didn't pick the lettuce?" *laughing*
Me:"Yes, I picked the lettuce, it's right here , Why?! What's the matter with you?"
Jason: *laughing* "How much did you pick?"
Me:"All of it , WHY?!"
Jason:* shaking his head * "Oh Sweetheart! You ruined the lettuce, it wasn't ready!"
Me:"Shut-up!...What do you mean, I ruined it? Look leaf lettuce, SEE!"
Jason:"We bought Ice- burg Head lettuce, it comes up in heads." *laughing*
Me: "What? Are you kidding me?"
Jason: "Now we'll have to plant it all over again!" *laughing* "Oh, I LOVE YOU! " (a few minutes later) "I Bet you won't put this on your blog!" *laughing*

*wink* Just for you honey! ( Even though I still think it's leaf lettuce!)

I'm just hoping today's a Better day!

He'll have my hide for this!

This morning I ran across this today, our 8.5 x 7.5 ft Cow hide Rug! Hang on, he's probably turning blue by now. (Honey, you can stop hyperventilating, there's a paper bag next to the computer, see it? Get it, and breathe Very Slowly! This is just the stock photo from the vendor I bought it from. I didn't actually take your baby out in the grass to take pictures. ) Sorry about that, Now where was I?....Okay this is the RUG, I bought my husband two years ago for Christmas. I was so excited to finally be able to afford something he had been drooling over for a long time, and surprise him. So, long story short where did I run across it today? Defiantly Not in the floor, Not where you would expect to find a RUG. No, it's neatly folded and tucked away in the closet. Away where nothing, Not kids, Not dust, Nothing can hurt it. Nor can anyone dare step a foot on it. You see we are saving it to drape across our bed, when we finally have our own home, that he will eventually build when we have money. (Right honey?) Tell them sweetie, tell these fine readers what you told me. ( Here let me help you *my hands moving his lips*) "It's NOT a RUG!" Well it darn sure could've fooled me!Why, somebody needs to contact the company selling them, and tell them they have there information All wrong. It is Not a rug! What was I thinking going to actually put it in the floor and walk across it, the nerve! Lean in real Close (*Whispering*...What he doesn't know is when he's at work I throw it in the floor and stomp all over it eating peanut butter and jelly ) I'm kidding! Sweetie, Don't give me that look! I'm only joking !! ( I'm really naked and rolling on it! lol, lol ) "Oh get off me..I need to finish this...So, someday hopefully before I am old and gray (nudge, nudge) we will have the furriest fanciest bed accessory around.(*Wink*)

*Note; Attention all animal rights activists out there*
No animals were harmed during the writing of this post!
Don't throw your red paint at my computer screen, these are the real people responsible.(For giving me something to make my husband happy and tease him with!) www.Proinleathers.com

Re-run Monday

So, here's the run down...
School is out.
We are on No set schedule.
I'm trying to be lenient.
Rules are being bent.
The kids sugar intake should have been less for today!
We've been at the lake all day.
I'm exhausted, But the kids are still going 90 miles a minute.
Toys are EVERY where!
I am trying to over look it all and resist my compulsive urges and just let them be kids.
(which isn't easy!)
All in all I can't think or hear for that matter. Therefore, today is Re-run Monday.
Here's an old post in case you missed it!

Jabber Jaws
Madisen is our little ‘Jabber Jaws’, she constantly talks. All the way to school, all the way home from school, and then she will follow you all over the house talking. It seems like she doesn’t even take a breath. It’s just on and on and you can forget getting in a word. We have finally found a good use for all this talking. Now when we get those annoying solicitors or debt collectors calling, I just let her answer the phone. The first time I did this, I said “here answer this and tell whoever is on the phone about when you lost your tooth”. She thought I was crazy but still went along. It didn’t take them long to hang up. The more they tried to say “Is your mommy or daddy home?” the louder she talked about her story. After they hung up, she said “uh…they hung up on me!” I just laughed and explained to her what I did. Now that’s her favorite game to play. Needless to say most of those calls have stopped!

Leave it and Loose it!

House Rule

All toys left in the floor are subject to the possibility of ending up in a landfill!

My girls are pack rats for all those misc. junk toys. Birthday party favors, Mc Donald's toys, if it comes with itty bitty pieces that can be broken or lost, they have it! I refuse to repeatedly pick up toys out of the floor. The girls know they are not supposed to leave toys laying all over the house. I can't stand stepping with my bare feet on little sharp toys. Little tiny Polly Pocket accessory's, marbles, rings you name it, are always finding there way all over the house. They are nothing but a choking hazard to Jacob (Aka vacuum lips), who searches for them on a constant basis. I feel like I am always nagging at the girls to pick them up and find them a home. They are old enough to keep them where they belong, yet refuse out of pure laziness. Therefore, If I see anything and pick it up more then twice it automatically goes straight the the trash. There's no warning or no announcement, it's just Gone! I swear Madisen has a photo graphic memory or something because nothing gets by her. She has 1000's of Polly pocket pieces all just crammed into drawers , and if one tiny shoe gets gone she knows it. She'll be in her room digging and hunting for one rubber shoe forever. Then the questions start ; Have you seen...? I can't find...? I just remind her, If she would keep things where they belong this wouldn't happen. Maybe once they run out of toys (that's a joke) they might learn their lesson. Until then it ends up just being a good way for me to weed out the population of the misc. toys!

Friday's Foto Finish Fiesta

Awe...The days of not having a care in the world. When the only thing on my agenda was swinging, drinking cool aid, and playing Barbie's. I would swing for hours and Daydream of what life would be like when I grow up... I'll be able to wear my own sexy lingerie outside! No one will be able to tell me I have to stop swinging and come inside, just because it's dark and I've been out here all day! If only I could go back for just one carefree moment. I'd put some barrets in that wind blown hair, give her some socks to stuff that gown, and tell her something funny (like something her future kids have done) for a smile! Here I think My kids have grown up fast. Where did my time go? I blinked and went from that swing to wrinkles, screaming kids, and bills.

Participating in Friday's Foto Finish Fiesta with Candid Carrie!

At least it's nice to feel needed

Today my Not so tech savvy mother called, in dire need of cell phone support. This being the same woman who will call repeatedly, yelling at my answering machine for me to pick up the phone and answer her. I have voice mail not a standard answering machine so therefore I can not hear her. Hours later my inbox is filled calls of her yelling. "JOHNINA!!!, pick up the phone!....WOOHOO where are you at? HELLO...Pick up...she's not answering, I don't know where she is", *Click*).Which she still doesn't get, even though I have tried to explain this to her many times. She is always calling for support in many areas. There are many evenings she will call at 9pm, unable to work her VCR. Now how long has the VCR been around? Point taken then. So, with her owning many new technological things one of which is the dreaded Internet service, I am kept pretty busy.I spent a solid hour this morning walking her over the phone the steps of removing a text message from her phone. She was in a shear panic over the fact that my sister in law had sent her a very unpleasant text message. In which her first reaction was slam it shut and throw the phone. (As if it jumped out and bit her, I mean really what did she think that would do?) Apparently it contained two naked men shown from the waist down holding towels off their manhood! ("Here grab a towel you will owe me!" including music) She was absolutely mortified and wanted it removed immediately!Gripping the whole time... "why would she send this?", "I can believe this?", "how am I gonna get this off!", "I don't see that button!!", "What?? Where??", "I just can't believe this!". There was No way she would leave it on the phone until I could see her and do it myself. "What if someone sees this?","You have to help me get this off!!" ,"What if I'm in a wreck and someone thinks this is mine?"!! Explaining things to my mom is like trying to teach a dog new tricks, she just doesn't get the simplest instructions! A solid hour it took me...no joke! Finally after beginning to sprout grey hairs, I was relieved to hear the sin had finally been removed and she could now function through the rest of her day! *blowing a sigh of relief* You know at least it's nice to feel needed!

One expensive Lawn ornament

Keeping in the subject of Father's day, today I'll share a story about the Father of my babies! I just know he will be so thrilled. ( Honey I love you, in advanced! )
Today while biting the bullet and facing my fears of the snakes, that might be in the backyard. I grit my teeth and ran to the shed behind the house, to grab a container for our winter things. On my way back prancing through the weeds with fear, our hideous lawn ornament caught my attention. In which I instantly thought 'I am so Bloggin this!' and I had no trouble what so ever going back to capture it on film. So ladies and gentlemen, (wait a minute ...'Gentlemen'? Do the men that accidentally click on my bright pink goddess pages actually stay and read? hmm, Most certainly Not, but I'll include them anyways !) Sorry my mind travels... without further ad due;

Our Lawn ornament!


I'm sure you are all dying to hear the story behind this, right?

(Sorry babe, I Must give the readers what they want!)

You see... 4 Summers ago I get a call from my husband. "SWEETIE, GUESS WHAT?!!" (All caps cause he was very excited!) "I JUST BOUGHT A JET SKI, FOR $1200!!" Did you catch that key word there? Bought, he BOUGHT a jet ski. Not found a jet ski for sale. Not there's a jet ski I want to buy, let's go look at it. Nope, he spent $1200, without even so much as a phone call of opinion or permission! Looking back how I always give in anyways, I see this was partially my fault as well. Regardless, he took it upon himself to buy it, and now we owned it. That evening when we finally met up, the guilty party wasn't so brave talking face to face. (hugging & kissing all over me while he tried convincing me, it was a good buy) He talked all about how the money was fine, we'll be able to use it at the lake, he'll take us all camping more,Oh the fun we'll have! After finally giving in (like I had a choice, it was Bought!), I was all excited to use it too. The first time out we went by ourselves, a little test run before we actually go camping with the kiddos... We drove 2 hours out to the lake, put it in the water, we both got on to go for a little cruising on the lake. Five minutes in the water and it dumps us over into the freezing cold water. Floating next to the up side down jet ski, he's fussing at me that I leaned, and I'm fussing at him that he leaned! (Looking back in my opinion the cursed water craft thing pitched us on purpose!) Climbing back thrilled with anticipation (I'm hanging on for dear life..."Now Don't go too fast!" He's laughing, Too late for that!") off we go putting across the lake. I say 'Putting' not wind blowing in my hair speeding, we were Putting along! "Um..."You can go faster than this!"... "Uh-No I can't" Apparently the little $1200 used man toy jet ski, was on the side of the road for a purpose. BECAUSE, It had No Power !! None, what so ever! I swear I think I saw fish swimming faster than we were going. Frustrated with the absolutely boring ride, we ride over to the bank where he dumped me off. Sure it was that fact of hauling two of us, he tries to go out on his own. Still Nothing! Disappointed, Pouting, and thinking of every excuse for this loss of Awe, he claimed it must be the fuel pump. It will be an easy fix, not to worry. We will be back and flying through the water in no time. That was the last and only time it has ever been in the water since we have owned it. With lots of weekends working on it in the back yard with a garden hose, useless parts and a frown, he finally gave up the dream. Ever since it has been our lovely yard ornament, with no one with enough pity to buy it for parts. (*shaking head*...Men and there Toys, I swear!) Needless to say any and all big purchases, have miraculously been given my approval ever since.

My idea is we spend just a little more money on it, and purchase a big metal spring. That way with his welder he can make Jacob a nice Jet ski, Yard Toy. Something kinda like this;

I think I'll mention it to him tonight. I'm sure with your helpful comments I can convince him! ; )

BTW: All those waiting that participated in 911 Any Suggestions
I LOVED all the emailed Ideas! I had so many to choose from. There was no way to narrow it down to one and cover all three men. Therefore I have chosen Two. And They are...
Tracy P. - I know my father in Law will love it. (Sorry can't mention it, in case the MIL is here peeking in! Hi, Laurie !!)
And
Gayle - For obvious reasons I can't mention one of your ideas. One Jason would see it and be Overly Joyed and it would spoil the surprise, because he would want it NOW ! ;)
The other idea she came up with is for my Dad. Which, was to be his little girl again and remind him of the past. As for that it might sound Cheesy, But I'm taking him to McDonald's & fishing with the kids. What's a 70+ year old man want to do that for? Well when I was little McDonald's was OUR place. He would always ride his bike with me and the two of us would go to McDonald's & go fishing! That was, just Our thing! So, bla bla bla...that's what we will do. I think I'll have the kids make him a card & stick a picture of us, from when I was little on the front! Wa-la
Thank you, Both!
I am Now the Best friend you ever wanted to have. I'll comment away, and Anything You Need, just Yell! Want to chat, have questions I'm your Gal! Although, I'm not coming over to babysit, have a play date or clean your house. Well, scratch that...You wanna buy me a plane ticket, It's summer, I need to get away ..Sure,What the heck!