Thursday, May 1, 2008

Advanced help with chlidren Volume 1

The Shooing Method

What is the Shooing Method?
A Technique used with children while you are on the phone, to signify you are busy and they need to leave. In which you motion with your hand in a very stern manner for them to go away.
(techniques may very from pointing, to a slight nudge in one direction or waving)

When is the method used?
The technique is used when all other methods have failed.
Other methods include; Warning them of all consequences before getting on the phone, Quietly telling them to wait when on the phone, and signing with your finger over your mouth to Shh!
Signs of Failures ; They continue to talk (maybe even louder)or gain your attention by following you, getting in your face, and/or tugging on your clothes.

When can I expect to use this method?
Anytime you need to make an important phone call, or if the phone rings in general. Any whisper of adult conversation can alert small children to coming running in need. (Note, no consideration will be given, even if it is the only phone call you have had all day. In a such case, You should also expect your call waiting alert to begin at this time. Be advised this technique does not apply nor is it effective to solicitors.) At this time you will loose all control of the quiet civilized household, you had two minutes before the phone rang.

Is this method effective?
In all case studies this method has been proven 100% non-effective. The child will continue with annoyance the same as compared to a fly at a picnic table. Although still using the technique is your common reaction of instinct. There have been severe cases in which the mother has to be air-vacted for immediate mental evaluation and counseling.

What can I expect after all techniques are applied and the phone call has ended? Usually, The child's behavior immediately turns from from little devil to sweet angel, to avoid any expected punishment. All crying, fighting and needs will diminish as though they never existed. Leaving you to frustrated and frazzled in confusion as to what you need to do next.

For further questions or concerns. Contact the Motherhood in crisis hot line at 1-911-MOM-HELP, or through my contact info. in the sidebar.


  1. air-vacted? hee hee! This post was entirely hilarious. It's my post of the day for sure.

  2. Oh dear friend, you've come such a long way with your parenting style. Seems like just yesterday that you were shoeing your children. You've come a long way since I've been mentoring you :)

  3. Great posting. I was just doing that last night. Hope you don't mind, I added your blog to my new list of blogs I love. Just making list now so let me know if it's a problem and I will take it off.

  4. Don't you just hate it when they say... Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom grow to hate the word Mom.

  5. Hehe, that is too funny! :)

    Equally ineffective: "Shh, Mommy's on the phone so you need to be quiet."....."WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

  6. I tried out this method just yesterday. Your studies are right; it doesn't work.

  7. Ha. Birdie sent when Birdie says, "Go!" you go. I still practice the look and my youngest is almost 17. : ) So do you have tips for getting 5 minutes of peace and quiet in the bathroom? I still have that issue!

  8. Haha, I love it! I feel like I should send it to my mother, she would double over laughing at the utter truth of it...

  9. Ah the memories. My daughter was just remarking the other day about "her" two not letting her talk on the phone. Had to laugh. She says I cursed her with two just like her and her brother..Oh the joys of Grandmotherhood. "snicker" "snicker"

  10. and yet even though we know it doesn't work as do any of the other things we try - locking ourselves in the bathroom (door gets pounded on) and escaping to the great outdoors (the house gets destroyed), we still keep doing these things over and over :)

    Great post.

  11. I've been known to hide in the cold room in the basement in the dark to be able to concentrate on an important phone call.

    It's insulated with stryofoam so the pounding on the door is muffled.

  12. Growing up my Mom always made comments about how we turned into little devils everytime the phone rang. I thought she was crazy back then, but now that I have two of my own I feel so bad.

  13. So true. Might I add, the sudden loud "sound effect singing" you get from the backseat of the car, as soon as you answer your cell. You know the "Yeh, ya, yeah, Nah, na, naw" sort of sound.

  14. Equally as ineffective is "the face", the grit your teeth, brows-furrowed 'shush it or else' stare. The kids just think I'm crazy.

  15. Funny Stuff! I walk from room to room in an effort to escape the mom, mom, mom, momma, momma, mommie, mommie, upstairs, downstairs, to the basement, back upstairs. Out of breathe on the phone, kids never deterred!
    Why doesn't anyone call me any more?

  16. Hi Johnina!!! I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog. You should write a book about parenting. Your writing style is very creative and entertaining. Great blog, thank you! I have added you to my list of favorite blogs in my own blog. Thanks for the window into your life.

  17. HAHAHA! Shooing is a very common practice in my house, and it has proven to be 100% ineffective here as well. I added you to the list of blogs I read on my page as well. Love it!

  18. I just love it when you write! I feel like you're reading my mind or retelling some scene from my life.

  19. shooing can be "dangerous". :) I remember being about 9 years old and pestering my mom when she was on the phone. She went to "shoo" me away and I ducked at the same time. Unfortunately, her "shooing" landed her ring and back of her hand square across my nose. Resulting in a bloody nose that lasted 20 minutes. Um, yeah, she had to get off the phone then. Although, after that I never, ever interrupted her on the phone. I just passed her a note to say I needed something.

  20. Yeah, it doesn't help to give the "crazy eye" or walk away. How come nobody (Hubbies included) needs you UNTIL the exact moment you get on the phone OR try to potty by yourself?
    Is there a huge blinking light in the home that only kids and hubbies can see? I think so.....

  21. I've always found the shoo'ing method to work like this...

    me: wave hand
    children: mom?!? He/She (interchangable) hit me, bit me, kicked me, won't let me sit where I was sitting first etc....
    me: please, I'm on the phone
    children:, but, but, but

    Awww never any peace....

    keep up the great work on your blog.


Girls could you PLEASE give our guest some space. Take your brother and go play. Sorry,it's hectic here, what were you saying?"...

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